Right Wing Ideals for Dummies

See, there's this guy named Stephen Harper. He's kinda like the manager at the store you work at, but imagine that instead of West 49, it's Canada. Now I know you didn't vote, but your mom might've voted for this guy cause once he posed for a photo-op with a kitten and is uncomfortable with gay marriage. Anyways, he's got this guy Vic, who's kinda like an assistant manager. He's the guy who snoops through your bag at the end of your shift to make sure you didnt steal anything. Well, Vic wants to make it company policy that he can come to your place and snoop through your closet whenever he wants. He wants to examine the panties you're wearing to see if you shoplifted them. And if you object, then you must be into kiddie porn. I don't know about you, but I'm not okay with that creepy Vic dude sniffing up my panties. It's something you might wanna talk to your manager about. You know, that Harper guy. But do it quick, cause word is he illegally scammed that promotion to become manager, and might be getting fired soon.