Today I went swimming by the sea
As I approached the beach
Something quite unique hit me
Across the distant sand was a clam
Just lying there, doing nothing at all
I walked in its direction
As I got close I said
Such a lovely day indeed
May I join you here on the beach?
The clam, doing nothing on the sand
Replied, Go away!
Mind your own business
And leave me the hell alone
I thought how rude
I was just trying to be a gentleman
And not some over enthusiastic dude
I knew that I would have to choose
My next words very carefully
Because even I know that there
Is nothing as terrifying
As a clam in a bad mood
Excuse me clam but…
Before I could finish my sentence
What I was sure was a clam in the sand
Screamed, I am not a clam!
I am a vagina!
In shock over my own inability to distinguish
I replied, oh my, I’m so sorry, of course you are
Hoping to ease the awkwardness of my mistake
I quickly replied, I’m gay
With a slanted smile she replied, well in that case
The assholes are down the beach that way!