The Journey To Manhood

You have what I covet.

The pristine, functioning, magical, mystical male physique.

I want my puzzled reality to finally be set.

Striving to obtain the goal,

ever thinking and toiling.

It possesses me in my darkest, deepest soul.

To be whole and complete.

WaitingPrayingSchemingCryingPushingYellingShovingWailing.

Disgruntled, I play in my back yard; surmising I’ve been cheated.


You have what I need.

An intricate puzzle being built

one

slow

painstaking...piece at a time.

Forming a DaVinci that only I can adore and conceive of.

Immaculate creation.


I have what I was given;

choices.

And the breathtaking gift of life.

This body betrayed me and brought me nothing

but mind-numbing strife.


Choices.

Life itself revolves around and is entangled like gnarled vines by them.

They dance

and sing

and whirl

around in your mind.

Sometimes it stops, and

holds still.

You listen.

And you realize a ‘choice’ wasn’t yours to find.


In the blanketing silence emerges

my destiny.

Who I am. What I am.


I wake.

Thank God finally I wake with a SLAM.

No need to covet or shout.

The final piece has been placed.

Ah----Joshua.

How could there have been any doubt?