Hey there my dearest sexless foetus turned live darling kid, I am so happy that you finally gave me the opportunity to call myself a grandfather, of course that means I am old now because of you. Also I am unsure whether you are God's blessing or just your parents mistake. You don't know how an easy girl/guy, a few drinks and a cheap condom can change your life.
I know you will be your grandmother's darling, I'll tell her about you the moment I meet her(for the first time). You'll get to be my darling the day I get a cheque of more than a million bucks from you or you buy me a car something like that. By the way if you are a guy I can give you an excellent sex talk, I think my future wife gave this advice to your mom/dad (whoever is mine.......only one of them is, don't get too many ideas you dumbass) which resulted in your birth and I am praying that your parent (my child) took it seriously and you aren't born in any circumstance I don't like because frankly I'll have a tough time trusting my kid.
By the way whatever you're told about me, you should know I was a rockstar in my time. Oh yes my music and songs were quite popular( in my bathroom)and also if you want love advice I am the man you should you should come to, I have been with a lot of girls (its just that they wouldn't let me do anything more than sit near them, they don't know what they've missed) I think your grandmother was the only one who realized and well the rest is history.