A Day Like Today

It had started with the alarm clock bleeping away in it's horrific mechanoid way - and late! I leaped from bed, slamming down on the reset button to stop that annoying sound. And as I hit the floor my toe stubbed the wall.
'Aaargh!' I managed to yelp, somehow avoiding any obvious expletive.
'Mmmph?' Sarah, my new wife, managed to mumble, her head pressed into the pillows, hardly stirring from her slumber. Hell - why should she. As a nurse on night shift she had only been home an hour and was exhausted, what with NHS cuts leading to a shortage of staff.
'Nothing my dear,' was the closest I could manage to utter by way of apology as I tried to hold back the pain. 'Just go back to sleep. You must need it!'
I grabbed some clothes and threw them on. Okay, so no-one is perfect on a Monday morning but anyone who saw me this day would have thought I was an extra from some fugitive movie - or a refugee. And that was before you looked at the creased shirt. Yep! How many times before the day was out would I hear the old crack, 'Is the iron broken - or did she tell you to do it yourself?'
Limping into the bathroom, wincing with every step, I turned on the tap. I should have expected it really but the pain in my toe was too much and my mind was elsewhere. Water gushed in a torrent, hitting the base of the sink and splashing out again - all over me. Water all down my front. Marvellous. Now, not only did I looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards, but also I looked like I'd wet myself.
'Yeah? You think that was funny, huh? Well...' I suppose anyone who heard me talking to the basin would have thought me insane but then what the hell. I looked like a madman and now I raved like one. This was beginning to get serious.
I managed to wash with no further problems and raced downstairs, grabbing for the railings halfway down and missing as I slipped and fell on my backside, sliding down the last few steps.
'Ar' 'kay?' I heard Sarah call from upstairs, obviously awoken by my commotion.
'Yeah! Just slipped! I'm okay,' I lied. The pain in my lower back was a lot greater than the now subsiding pain in my toe had been.
Quickly I grabbed my shoes, slipped them on and tied double bows. I stood up - and sat down again, realising that it helped to put them on the right feet before they crippled me. The first came off no problem, the second magically formed itself into one of those annoyingly tight knots that are impossible to untie. Eventually I managed it but as I retied the lace - it snapped. Sod's law!
Rushing from the house I nearly tripped on an uneven slab, thanking my lucky stars that I had stayed upright and that something was going right today. I got into my car, an old Toyota and turned the ignition key. The engine ticked over and then cut out. I tried again then a third time. Still the same. The old girl had never given me any trouble before so why now?
'Come on. You can do it! Come on...' It was having nothing to do with it. Stubbornly the car refused to start.
'Okay! Have it your way you little...' the slamming of the door drowned out the rest of my sentence. Time was now of the essence. I had to get to work and that meant finding a means to get there.
I started to run toward the main road. It had rained heavily during the night and pools had gathered all along the pavement. I cannot be sure but I think I managed to land in every single one. My trousers were soaked, my shoes filthy, and my lungs felt like an iron band was being tightened around them. Talk about unfit! I knew I was out of shape but this was ridiculous.
The main road was getting closer with each stride, though, and that was the main thing. Then, just as I was about to turn onto the high street a van drove past, straight through a puddle the size of Loch Ness and soaked me from head to toe. Well, no point in worrying about wet trousers now then, hey?
My run dropped to a jog and then when my lungs almost packed up for good into a walk. I hailed a taxi but it drove straight past. I hailed another but that again drove straight on.
'Don't want business then, huh?' I growled, but then who could blame them when you saw the state of me. Eventually, maybe at the fifth or sixth attempt, I succeeded in grabbing a cab. It was old, filthy and sounded like it would drop apart at any given moment but it got me to work so I couldn't complain.
That was - up until the accident.
Maybe visibility was bad, maybe the road was wet. I tried to make up a hundred excuses but when the police told me they had found traces of alcohol in the drivers bloodstream I was shocked. Or was I? After all, I was having one of those day's when everthing was going wrong wasn't I?
We had been travelling fo about five minutes and the driver had talked non stop, asking inane questions, rambling about who he was, where he had been, who he had had in the back of his cab. He was the type of driver I hated - but I never suspected he had been drinking. We had approached the traffic lights at quite a speed and only as we came close did they change. My driver, the lovable old rogue who could chat for England, obviously thought he could make it through on red before the other traffic tried to merge onto the High Street. Obviously the alcohol had clouded his judgment. Too late did he spot the car pulling out. Too late he hit the brakes sharply sending the car into an uncontrollable skid across the hardpan.
My last thought as we hit the other vehicle was, 'Why the hell did I not put my seatbelt on? I always put my seatbelt on!'
From the back seat I was hurled through the gap between the driver and passanger seats and instinctively flung my arms over my head to brace myself against the impact. That was probably what saved my life. I collided with the dashboard and made such an impact that I heard the bone in my arm snap as I felt my head forced backwards.
And that's all I can recall! Here I lie in this hospital bed, an absurd bandage tied around my head and my plastere arm in traction. The surgeon signed the plaster for me, not realising the pain I suffered with every movement of his pen.
But at least one good thing has come out of all this.
At least for the next few days I get a lot more time to spend with Sarah!