Help Me

Frightened,
Overwhelmed.
Silently,
Huddled,
In a corner,
In a ball.
Trying to get away,
Trying to block out,
Noise,
Light,
Family,
Friends.
The ones I care for,
Scare me.
I don’t know why,

I just want something,
To hold,
To comfort
and soothe me.
People’s weird looks,
Scare me.
I try to,
Curl tighter,
Get farther away.
Nothing helps.
‘cause,
I’m different.

This is not a joke.
It’s not a lie.
It’s the truth.
Even when I’m laughing
With my friends,
It’s just waiting for
Something to trigger it.
Bringing out all my fears.
Changing me.
It’s not a mood swing,
It’s me.

Then darkness calls,
With it’s peaceful silence,
Hiding me from my fears,
Ready to pounce when I emerge.
While they haunt me,
I will defend myself,
Against anything which
Looks scary,
Or threatening.
I welcome anything,
Which will comfort.

I’m not crazy,
I’m not a baby,
I’m not stupid or dumb,
I’m smart,
I’m a teenager,
I’m autistic.