Evil at the Kmart

Roger couldn't believe his luck. According to the ancient map he'd found in his grandmother's attic, an enormous treasure lay buried beside the palm tree right in front of him. Digging beneath the tree he found a box. Expecting to find gold, diamonds or other valuables, instead he found another map with a note from his grandmother. The note read, "Roger, I know you have found the box with the map. It will lead you to a valuable find. Good luck." But the question is how did his grandmother come into possession of another ancient map. One ancient map is believable, but two! Wow! He picked up the magnifying glass from his bag. He'd been watching Scooby Do long enough to know that he should look for additional clues. Scanning the document, he found nothing that seemed to be out of the ordinary. Maybe an ultraviolet light would reveal a clue. Flipping on the switch of his portable, he held the map under the purple glow and yes! There it is, a small inscription. But it was faded. If only he could make it out. Yes, he could barely read it. "(c) Nostradamus, 1551 - for additional copies leave 2 draka in the tin can by the big oak tree near the castle gate. 'crackers to dropsy snide.'"

OK, where does this map lead? from all the clues he knew the treasure was buried under a kaggmarque which is located near the mucdolder. Obviously these are ancient words that are no longer used for objects or locations that are still here...he hoped. Of course, Nostradamus was an astoundingly accurate prophet, seeing details into the future of which he would have been unaware. But the treasure was described as "a blue radiance emanating out of a circular orifice casting good will and riches on all who fall within its glow." "Wow," he thought, "that sounds like a description of a large and beautiful diamond. Maybe I will discover a diamond field, right here in Mississippi!"

He could hardly contain himself and he grabbed his shovel, pick, tape measure, and lucky signet ring and started out to find this wonderful treasure.

Jumping into his car, he raced out following the descriptions as best as he could. Finally, he was at the spot where the treasure should be. But it was a very urbanized area with stores and strip malls everywhere. Hardly a vacant spot anywhere. Kaggmarkque? Kaggmarkque? What in tarnation could a kaggmarkque be, not to mention a mucdolder? By the hairs of old Nostradamus himself, he had been looking right at it! There it was! Yes! Kmart right next to McDonalds! Old Nostradamus had looked into the future and saw Kmart. Obviously the treasure was on the spot where Kmart was located. Now, to look at the detailed directions to know where to dig.

As best he could tell it should be near the men's underwear counter. With pick and shovel in hand he rushed into the store wondering how he could convince the manager to permit him to dig up his store. He surveyed the store, went past the ladies lingerie back to men's ready to wear, and there it was, the men's underwear counter with boxers, jockeys, bikinis and even some leopard print thongs. The treasure Nostradamus had foreseen validated by a sign emblazoned with "Men's bikinis or thongs twelve pair for $12" right under the flashing blue light!

But evil was here also. Raising his pick, he prepared to dig a hole to rid the store of the demons. There was something evil that had caused this deal to go bad. Possibly a manager who had sold his soul to the devil. He brought down the steel pick, and evil incarnate spewed from the hole he had made. Immediately, he knew he had made a mistake. Even the manager was powerless. Howling with rage, the ghosts surrounded the terrified man. He knew that nothing could save him now!