| Last year, at about the time of Spring Break, my friend Kelly invited me to stay at her dorm for the night and go party with her. Everything was cool, I had all my stuff packed for the night and I was pretty excited. I didn't expect anything too wild to happen, since I'm always cautious and very shy. My friend and her boyfriend ended up picking me up which was cool, but very awkward for me. I didn't know what to do or say. I never know what to do or say when I'm around my friends and their boyfriends. I hate couples, always have, always will.
People are always too fake for me when they are in relationships and they always seem to know better or know more than those who have never been in or aren't in one at the moment. I hate it when they think they're better than other people just because someone thinks that they are "special." Special? Yea right, how about being at the right place at the right time, being convenient for the time being, or just someone who will give the other person exactly what they want.
Well, we got to the dorms and my friend and I got out of the car and went up to her room. I tried to make myself comfortable, not that I really had time to do so. She was getting hungry and suggested that we go get something to eat. I agreed to go along since I really hadn't eaten too much during the day; my stomach was far from full. We went down and got our food, I opted for the nasty tasting spaghetti, which didn't look too bad at the time. We started eating and the weirdest thing happened. I looked up from my plate to see this one guy from my school, from my English class to be exact. It was weird, I never expected anyone from school to be where I was. His name was Jordan and I thought he was really cute. I mentioned him to Kelly and she agreed that indeed he was quite attractive.
We finally finished eating and went back to her room to get ready for the party. I ended up dressing in dark navy jeans and a cute red tank top with spaghetti straps. I put my hair up in clips and added a bit of makeup to my plain face. We were off, Kelly driving her boyfriends car. The beginning of the party was quite weird. I barely went to parties before and this one wasn't exactly the most happening party. There were a few people, though since I didn't know anyone I felt really out of place. I was extremely uncomfortable. As I said before, I'm very shy, and to be in a large group of unfamiliar people can make me even more shut off. I try to blend in, not make myself noticeable. I ended up meeting a few of Kelly's friends as well as some friends of her boyfriend. One guy, Eric, I found quite attractive and I learned from Kelly that he was single. I figured I didn't have a chance with him since I never had much self confidence. I figured he'd fine some other girl way more attractive than myself, but I guess I was wrong. He started talking to me, trying to get me to laugh whenever he said or did something.
I thought it was quite odd that he was even talking to me to begin with, but I'm sure he was drunk which was probably the real reason he was talking to me, besides the fact that my friend and her boyfriend were trying to hook the two of us up. We didn't exactly get to have a decent conversation, so I really didn't get to learn too much about him. Towards the end of the night we were talking and my friend and her boyfriend left us alone for a while. They kind of just walked off and left me alone with this guy. We just kept on talking, though for a bit of the time he would mimic me, mostly mimic my gestures. He was completely teasing me for no reason whatsoever. In the middle of all the teasing, I grabbed his hand to get him to stop what he was doing and he leaned in and started kissing me. This was my first real kiss and I definately wasn't expecting it, but it happened.
I'm sure the real reason that he kissed me was because he was completely wasted. We ended up kissing for the rest of the party, which was kind of nice in some respects. After a bit, he said he wanted me to go back to his apartment with him, something I would never allow myself to do. I didn't want to be going over there all alone with him. I especially didn't want to ditch Kelly if I had come over to hang out with her. I told him that I would have to talk to my friend Kelly about it, so we went in search of her. We walked up the stairs and ended up in the kitchen. I looked up into his eyes and he leaned in to kiss me again. We ended up this way for quite a while once again. We finally found Kelly and she felt exactly the same way as I did. She agreed that I shouldn't go back with this guy even if everyone who knows him thought he was such a nice guy. I later found out from my friend that the guy never wanted to go out with me, which was the reason he didn't want my phone number. He gave me his but never expected me, in a million years, to call him. I did call him once, and I'm sure he was in shock and I figure he really doesn't remember who I am.
I talked to Kelly the other day and I found out that my name was mentioned between a conversation they had. He didn't remember my name and claimed he didn't even remember me. She then told me that he wanted to go out with me, or hook up with me. I don't exactly feel like seeing him again, and I definately don't want to go out with him. It hurt me too much to know that he didn't want to go out with me in the first place. That was something I should have heard from him but instead I had to hear it from Kelly. Hopefully one day I'll find a guy that likes me for who I am.