A Cry From One of the Lost

Sorrounded by hateful faces that just wont let me be
It seems as though a road to nowhere has already been paved for me
Lost in addiction; held by a fear that wont let me leave
Can't someone help me? cant someone break this hell and set me free?
But then again I'm sober so I must not be thinking straight
I can't tell if it's me or just my life I so hate
I doubt anyone could save me; it's probably already too late
Engulfed in my fire, held down by my hate, these flames I can't shake

So I guess I'm just one of the lost
Maybe it's true that my life has a cost
If so then I wish it would end
A child with a heart that won't mend

Take me to heaven, then drop me to hell
I know nothing else; it's all just as well
I gave up long ago; now I'm just falling
With no hope of anyone hearing me calling

Sometimes I ask "why?", but you won't see me looking for a reply
My head's hung too low; too used to the pity in which I lie
But I'm surprised by the eagerness with which I still cry
Cause I know there's no hope or no reason so why fight?
I'de give up anything to put down this blunt and to look up above
And sense the smallest amount of compassion and love
But it's just not in me cause hope's no longer enough
I can't fight the trigger anymore; I'm just not that tough

So I guess I'm just one of the lost
Maybe it's true that my life has a cost
If so then I wish it would end
A child with a heart that won't mend

So take me to heaven then drop me to hell
I know nothing else it's all just as well
The barrel feels cold on the roof of my mouth
As I pull back the trigger and hear my last shout