Unanswered Prayers

You haven’t seen your mother in a long time, she’s so eager to hear from you!

A familiar smell spreads throughout the room. It makes you think of everything you’ve ever experienced here; the memories remind you that they’re still alive. These walls have seen you getting accepted to college, carefully decorating a birthday gift for your best friend, and listening to your mom tell you you’re just like your dad. This place definitely has an influence on you; it made you who you are. Your inner child can’t help but cry, nostalgia is its biggest weakness.


The smell of freshly cooked pasta becomes clearer, and you realise you’re really back. The dinner table is set, your mother sits on the other side of it, staring at her son who left her as soon as he got the opportunity to do so. Everyone smiles, preserving the image of a happy family. You might even think that nothing is wrong beneath the surface. Everyone cheers, what an amazing day! You haven’t seen each other for a while, your mother is probably so excited to hear about everything you’ve done so far! You look at her. She smiles. Then, individual letters start spilling out of her mouth.
…

“So, you got a girlfriend?”

Suddenly, your smile drops. Your heartbeat is pouring, your blood has lost its way in the labyrinth of your body. Darkness fills the room, you feel dizzy…


Really? This is the first thing that she thinks of? After so many years of no contact, she doesn’t seem to have changed at all. She said she missed you, but she didn’t. She missed the image that she had of you, she missed her perfect son…
The one who she can brag about to her friends;
The one who never doubts what his lovely mother says;
The one who has a perfect job;

The one who isn’t in love with a boy.


Why did you even come here? Did you actually think something would change? The only thing that changes is time. This house looks even worse than it did before, but the people in it stay the same. Your unanswered prayers to become normal stayed here too, you can hear them through the walls. However, your mom couldn’t hear them. She has never understood what you had to go through. In fact, she has never tried to understand.


Time goes by, dinner comes to an end. Your mom also commented on your outfit a few times. You should wear more appropriate clothes and less jewellery. You are a boy, after all, aren’t you? You wonder whether it was worth coming here. Your attempts to make your relationship with your mother warmer never succeed, so why do you keep trying?