Excerpt

A small portion of one of the first journal entries after a tumultuous experience.

My thoughts have become almost damaging to my psyche at this point. My two best friends have individually expressed to me their belief that something attached to me when I died 5 years ago. They say I'm different and they hope I'm not gone. What am I supposed to think about that while remaining healthy and positive? My children think I don't love them or prioritize them anymore while I feel I try to do what I can with what I got. Even while I try to not think about them sometimes because missing them is so painful, whenever I'm alone or at rest, there they are. My family, well, they're my family, always expecting me to do what's right. This feels like something I can never quite fill because we don't see things the same. I've experienced another side to society that they only know through stories and it's evident this effects our perspectives as we don't often agree. These are the types of things I think about which produce mostly heartache for me.