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| >> Static Item >> Fiction >> Comedy >> ID #267420 |   |
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Written for Start to Finish Challenge Contest of the Ogre (Opal) Twins The ghosts were enjoying their Halloween party in the deserted old mansion when they heard an urgent banging on the front door. “Who’s that?” said one of the ghosts. “Well it certainly ain’t no ghost,” observed Bubba. “How do you know?” asked another. “Well, for one thing, ghosts don’t have to be banging on no door ‘cause we just go through the door. Boy, you were dopey when you were alive and you’re still dopey as a ghost. Gimme a break, for crying out loud!” “Well, I didn’t know,” said Dopey. “I just been a ghost for a short time and I didn’t get all the information.” “Yeah, you didn’t get the information ‘cause you were sleeping through the lectures. This is basic ghost stuff; it ain’t GhD stuff, sheez,” remarked Bubba. “GhD?” asked Dopey. “Ghostly Doctorate!” replied Bubba emphatically. “See, you didn’t pay attention to nothing they taught you. You ain't never gonna make it as a real ghost. All you'll ever be is a dopey Casper.” “But, I want to be a ghost. My father before me was a ghost, his father was a ghost and…I think his father was a ghost, too,” said Dopey. “Was?” questioned Bubba. “Oh, yeah, is a ghost,” acknowledged Dopey. “Sheez,” said Bubba as he turned on his heels, flipped his head upward and threw up what seemed to be his arms and walked off. But, who was that banging on the door? Suddenly they heard a shout, “WHO YOU GONNA CALL?” They all groaned in unison, “Oh no, it some jerk who thinks he’s a Ghostbusters.” They immediately went into action, that is all but Dopey, who couldn’t remember what he was to do in this scenario. “What do I do?” he cried out. “Drill 356,” shouted Bubba from across the room. ”Drill 356,” mused Dopey out loud, “I wish I could remember what to do for that drill.” Suddenly Bubba appeared and said, “Dopey, no matter what the drill number, your job is always to JUST GET OUT OF THE WAY!” “Oh, thank you, Bubba, I can do that cause that’s what my daddy always said when I was a kid.” And he sailed up behind a painting on the wall where he had a great vantage point to watch the other ghost go through their routines. First, they got the sound effects ready. In years gone by, they would drag out chains, creaking doors, cannon balls to roll down stairs, and other ghostly sounds. Now, they were hi-tech and had only to open the wall panel where a 100 kazillion MHz Ghostway Computer with a 1000 million kazillion MB hard drive was installed. A small label on the tower vouched, “Adele Inside.” Ghosts had long given up on Intel for their Ghostway Computers; besides, Adele could come out and talk with them. Eat your heart out, Bill Gates, this is a living computer! Once powered up, they accessed MP3 and WAV files filled with enough sounds of nocturnal terror to frighten even the hardiest souls. But, there it was again, “WHO YOU GONNA CALL?” Moving to the next level of attack, the monster computer produced fire throughout the mansion, screams of women and blood-curdling sounds, designed to take out even the strongest hearts. When this round of fear had passed, the upper portions of the mansion had been destroyed by the fire, but the remains of the house fell silent. “Somebody needs to go check the door,” said a ghost. “I’ll go,” volunteered Dopey. “It figures,” said Bubba. When Dopey pulled the door open, there before him stood a thin, 50 years old man with glasses that looked like the bottoms two old Coke bottles. Obviously extremely nearsighted, he said, “Good evening, sir or madam. I am here to ask you who you gonna call?” “Well…” stammered Dopey. “No need to answer that," he interrupted, "it’s just an opening line to get our conversation going. I have the best plan for long distance cellular telephone calling in the world. Yep, that’s what I said, in the world. Do you mind if I come in and meet the little woman? I’m sure there is a little woman with a man as sharp and good looking as you are. You see, I represent the Amway Long Distance Cellular Telephone Company and we are associated with Amway in North America, Central America, South America, Europe, Asia, China and I think we have a few representatives on Mars by now. And, I have a plan for you to make a kazillion dollars by tomorrow night if you have 8 million friends you can call tonight. Now that Amway had arrived, obviously, the Halloween party was over!
© Copyright 2001 Writer of the Winds (UN: caracas at Writing.Com).
All rights reserved.
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