Embattled Influences

Adolescent years
Adolescent tears
The world can be a cruel place
It's not fair!

Childhood fears
grow throughout the years
The world is a cruel place
It's not fair

Adult determination
Adult justification
The world has been and will be a cruel place
What really is fair?

         Fear
         Denial
         Anger
         Grief
A lost soul reaches out
Finds no relief

Remembered jeers, adolescent fears
Remembered tears, childhood pain
Relive rationalization, adult failure
Realize a lonely path, destination unknown.

Open hearted
Torn and bleeding
Abandonment's emptiness
Inner rage seething

Feelings are back again
Gone is the sleepiness
The lethargic inactiveness
Here are the tears of guilts remunerations
         Taunting
         Haunting
         Stabbing
         Jabbing
Holding myself accountable for deeds not long past
I hide in isolation but not running away
I stand entrenched, both feet firmly planted
Making myself responsible for my life today.

July 1990