Mammography Results

MAMMOTH MAMMOGRAPHY CENTER
Deep Canyon Drive...Suites 30-AA to 44-DD...Two Buttes, Colorado
Phone...1-800-GET-FLAT

"We Want To Be Your Main Squeeze"

Dear Silly Girl,

The results of your recent mammography examination are as follows:


( ) Unable to read x-ray film due to lack of subject matter.

( ) The possibility exists that your shoulder blades were examined by mistake.

( ) Film was damaged by the carelessness of a technician during a fit of laughter.

( ) The examiner was unable to properly adjust the settings while blindfolded.

( ) The glow that you are currently experiencing might be due to excess radiation.

( ) You failed to hold your breath when required ...(next time, keep in mind that when you are told “hold your breath”, a reply isn’t necessary.)

(*) All of the above.

We suggest that you schedule an appointment at your earliest possible convenience, to have this test repeated.

Sincerely,
Chester Tester
Public Information Director