Kicked in the Head by a Horse

My Cousin got Kicked in the Head by a Horse


This tale is true
Well, with a hint of false
My cousin really did get kicked
In the head by a horse

He was 7 or 8
I can no longer remember
But neither can he
Since that day in December

I think he was slow
Long before that cold day
Always drawn to things shiny
I’m afraid I must say

The last he collected
Was behind Bessy, the mare
He approached it with haste
Not a worry or care

Bessy was all fresh
With her tail in the air
And he bent down behind her
Well, he should've never been there

You see, Bessy was in heat
And in need of a strapping
And she decided my cousin
Wasn’t a big enough helping

So, her unshoed hoof
Met with his goofy smile
Which stayed on his face
Oh, God, quite a while

He can now count again
‘Cause he’s a few years older
But only to 10
And never in order

He is helped by and by
By his fingers and toes
A task not so hard
For he never wears shoes

9, 7, 3
And he pauses awhile
For 3 looks like boobs
He says with a smile

6, 8, 4
And after that 1
But my aunt is still proud
Of her one eyed son

He tries very hard
And for that she thanks heaven
She even caught him without pants
Trying to count to 11

10, 5, 2
But he was stuck on the 1
And he tugged and he pulled
And he let out a moan

At least Bessy is fine
Got herself a new stallion
And my half-wit cousin
A shiny medallion

For bravery, they said
In the face of a hoof
He got it three days after
He fell down from the roof

He said, haaa bee gaa
Or thank you, I think
When they poured cold water
Over his head in the sink

He’s still so much fun
Though his language is coarse
Since the day he got kicked
In the head by a horse

And though he can’t count
Two odds still make an even
And twice every day
He tries to eleven

So, the moral of this tale
If there is one to be said
Is try not to get kicked
By a horse in the head

And if a shiny rock
You should happen to see
Make sure old Bessy
Is tied to a tree

Baa yee ooh
My cousin says bye
With a wink and a glimmer
In his one bright eye

Baa yee ooh, y’all