Heard in the mental hospital...

Yes... ALL of these were actually said (though many are really taken out of context)...

Scratching your balls? - me
This is a porno Teddy Graham. - Ralene
I'm sticking my hand down my shirt. - Nicky
Trying to get inside of you was fun. - Jaslyn
Plumpy has struck! - Nicky
Kristina says its okay. - Kristina
Don't touch him. You might excite him. - Dan quoting "the sassy nurse."
Are you musterbating? - Chris
y'all - Sue
Parents always learn from their mothers. - Nicky
If you want to get better, you have to let the walls fall. - Nicole
I'm fantasizing about Ralene. - Nicky
fustrated - Nicky
I'm not a dork, bitch, or failure. - me
Mandi, will you please turn off your headlights. - Mandi
I have a green ass, too. - Nicky
"jewlary" = jewelry - Kristina
You pee more than anyone else in the program. - Nicky
Its like we're all one big mafia. - Brittany
"pitures" = pictures - Nicky
I would not recommend eating. - Dan
You have to be stable to be here. - Nicole
I thought you said "with a wet poodle." - Brittany
"sallamanilla" = salmonella - Nicky
I've never kissed myself. - Nicky
I had a dream that I was pregnant. - Dan
"ESPN" = ESP - just about all of the patients said this one.
If you're going thru Hell, keep going. - me
My goal is to complete my goal. - me
You don't have to live up to your diagnoses. - Michelle
Its a lot easier than dealing with the actual problems. - Ralene
Strong people have weak moments. - Nicole
Let's go rob a bank. - Maria
I like warm hugs and warm towels. - Brittany
You know what? I don't want any backtrack from you people. - Nicky
Its one of those healthy brainwashes. - Dan
I don't want to hurt myself. I just want to contribute to my death. - Dan
Couches are more dangerous than they come out to be. - Dan
Is anyone here good at cutting? - Suzy
It's our patriotic duty to consume. - President George W. Bush (okay, this one wasn't heard, but I wrote it on my folder...)
I think I brought in some diseases from my dad. - Dan
She'll sit on you like she sat on the dog. - Mandi
Dan doesn't think or function like you or I. - Chris (quoting Dan's dad)
(To Linda: )You're such a mouse. - me
An impulse to steal nuts. - Ralene
I think I do have extra drool. - Nicky
(Said as a way to get the effects of being high: )Just spin around in a circle for a little bit - Brittany
Just because that's the way its always been doesn't mean its the way it always has to be. - Justin
Being rude with manners. - Dan
I'd rather do the talking than the burping. - Sarah
It's like a sick obsession and she has to stop. - Brittany
If you take a supposed-to-tory you'll should all over yourself. - Justin
They're anti-depressant pickles. - Dan
I burned my tongue. It feels like bacon. - Nicole
I go after the dog. Lovely. - Suzanne
The people in my head said it. - Maria
You put a lizard in the refrigerator and he will fall asleep. - Dan
The remaining 25% are adult adolescents. - Dan
What would it be like to be a woman? - Nicky
I would malfunction. - Nicky
I gotta learn to love my sorry ass. - Chris
Feel the fear and do it anyway! - me
I'm not a dumbfuck. - Suzanne
Do you have any scarves?(using the word scarves for impulses) - Nicky
Someone get this woman a list.(feelings list) - Dan
This Teddy Graham has an outie. - Mandi
Your iglets are exposed. - Dan
I'm afraid of the walls. - Nicky
We room together and I know what bras you have. - Sue
My pen is having more fun than I am. - Nicky
Crazy old Jamie. - Mandi
I was gassing. - me
Do you like sucking on nipples? - Dan
Bound and gagged. - Mandi
I feel sorry for Christmas trees. - Nicky

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