I Love Lucy 2002

I Love Lucy 2002

“Oh Ricky...“, pleads Lucy when she hears about Ricky’s special star attraction playing at his club The Tropicana: The Next Generation that night. “No Lucy, Ricky Martin has heard ALL about you and your crazy schemes! He wants nothing to do with you. He‘s afraid of you and what you might do!” Spouts Ricky at the same time shaking his finger at her. ”But Ricky, I’ll be good... I promise!” Lucy swears while crossing her heart. “Absolutely not and that’s my final answer!” Growls Ricky in exasperation. Lucy flings herself onto the couch in a huff and pouts.

“So Fred... Like I was ‘splainin’ to you before we were rudely interrupted“ Ricky turns and gives Lucy a pointed glare and then continues while Lucy sticks her tongue out at his back. “We are bringing the red convertible up a ramp onto this special rotating stage! It’s amazing! That will be his final number and he will have his dancers there with him...” “Oooooo, the dancing girls with the skimpy clothes?”, interrupts Fred, eyes gleaming as brightly as his bald head in the light. “Yes”, Ricky says with a grin. “He’s coming here as a favor to me, before he goes on a promotional tour for his new album.“ “Which one is that?“, queries Fred. “’The Best Of Ricky Martin‘, it was released a few months ago. I really hope this brings the Tropicana out of the slump it’s been in.”, Ricky comments as he and Fred walk out of the apartment.

“Ooooh, that Cuban dictator! He makes me so mad!”, Lucy hisses under her breath. “You know Ethel; I have half a mind to go to the Tropicana anyway! Just to teach him a lesson!” “Oh no!”, groans Ethel. “Here we go again!” “Now Ethel, you don’t want me missing Ricky Martin, do you?”, demands Lucy. Ethel looks at her and crosses her arms, “If it means I don’t get in the middle of one of your hair-brained schemes, I do!” With a devilish gleam in her eye she says, “Now Ethel, this scheme will be truly great! All we have to do is...”; Lucy starts while she half drags Ethel out the door.

“Oh Lucy! That’s a beautiful dress! The red matches your hair and all of this lovely fringe reminds me of the roaring twenties...”, sighs the older woman. Lucy nods and states, “It‘s the same type that his dancers wear. I overheard Ricky say where they were getting the extra costumes for the Tropicana‘s dancers!” Ethel and Lucy both grin at each other widely at how well the plan is coming together. “Once I’m on stage with him Ricky can’t get me off without making a huge scene and then I can see Ricky Martin shake his bon-bon.”, Lucy finishes with a sigh, dreamily clutching her hands under her chin. “And what a great bon-bon it is” gushes Ethel with her hands folded next to her cheek and eyes drifting upward, day-dreaming of Ricky Martin and his luscious dancing ability.

“You distract the guard and I’ll sneak the keys out of the ignition and then hide in the trunk”, whispers Lucy to a hesitant Ethel. “I don’t know Lucy, how am I supposed to do that?” “Flap your arms and cluck like a chicken for all I care, just get his attention away from that car! If I don‘t do it before they get it on stage, I‘ll never be able to pull this off!” Ethel shrugs and emerges from her hiding place in the alley at the corner of the Tropicana. Walking slowly forward she waits until she knows the guard is aware of her. “Braaaaaawk! bak bak ba GAK!”, clucks Ethel, putting her hands in her armpits and flapping make believe wings. The guard stops mid stride and shakes his head. Grabbing his walkie-talkie he presses the button and states, “We’ve got a cracker in the barrel, over!”

“Anything you can’t handle, Mitch? Over.” Comes the response.

“Nah, it’s just a crazy middle-aged nutcase. I got it covered Al, over.”

“Alrighty then, just call if you need back up. Over”

“Will do. Over and out”, and with that the guard cautiously approaches Ethel again. “Hey lady, you okay?”, he states in a calm voice. “Braaaaaak!”, clucks Ethel as she slowly and carefully leads him away from the shiny red convertible. “Okay lady, you need to find your henhouse now.” “Ba GAK!”, is her answer. Really getting into her role, Ethel begins to add the head motion and scratches at the ground with her feet, which isn’t easy considering she is wearing high heels and it‘s asphalt. The guard holds his hands out in an attempt to corral her in the far corner. Anticipating his move, Ethel flaps wildly around him, cackling the whole way. “Listen lady, I’ve got a job to do here, I can’t be chasing you from corner to corner”, spews the guard in frustration and anger. “Bak, bak, bak!”, retorts Chicken Ethel.

“Go Ethel Go!”, Lucy roots Ethel quietly on, then sneaks the short distance from her hiding place to the car and grabs the keys dangling in the ignition. Nervously fumbling as quietly as possible at the trunk of the car Lucy finally fits the key into the lock. She opens it quickly and stealthily returns the keys back into the ignition and climbs into the trunk, after tossing in her small bag. She carefully places a wool mitten between the latch and hook, so that the trunk closes but doesn’t latch completely and closes the lid behind her.

Seeing Lucy has made it safely into the trunk, Ethel straightens up, smoothes her dress and begins to walk calmly away as if nothing has happened. Confused, the guard grabs her arm and tries to stop her. “Excuse me!”, Ethel says haughtily. “Please remove your hand from my person!” The guard, having absolutely no idea what to do, drops his hand, shrugs and just lets her walk off the lot, head held high. Shaking his head he returns to his post while relating the odd incident into his walkie-talkie. As Ethel walks by the trunk of the car she leans against it to make sure it’s closed good enough and says quietly, “Good luck Lucy!”, then quickly makes her escape before the guard notices that she hasn’t left yet.

About an hour later Lucy hears the guards muffled voice speaking very near to her, then feels the car move with the weight of someone getting into it. Feeling around her for her bag, she fumbles around inside it to find her flashlight. Turning it on she sees that the mitten is still in place and the trunk seems secure. Double-checking to make sure she still has the screwdriver, just in case the mitten doesn’t work, she then turns off the flashlight until she needs it. No sense in wasting the batteries, she thinks to herself. The car starts up and she is on her way into the building and on the stage set up especially for Ricky Martin’s concert.

“’The Tropicana: The Next Generation’ is proud to present... Ricky Martin!”, yells Ricky Ricardo into the house microphone. The crowded room erupts in applause and wakes Lucy up from the short nap she was taking in the trunk. Finding her flashlight and turning it on, she pulls up on the mitten and is able to release the catch with no problem. While Ricky Martin begins to sing, “She Bangs”; Lucy slowly lifts the trunk lid up and peeks at her surroundings. Seeing that the coast is clear she slips out. Not able to straighten up fully due to the length of time in the trunk, Lucy stretches first in one direction, then in another in an attempt to stand fully erect. Ricky Martin begins his next song, “Bella - She’s All I Ever Had” while, panicking, Lucy maneuvers her body in all sorts of yoga inspired directions in vain. Finally she accomplishes her goal just as Ricky’s dance troupe, joined by the Tropicana’s flow onto the stage. Some are on the raised stage with the car and others on the main stage just below. Lucy aimlessly mills around, trying to look like she belongs. Finding an open spot she tries to fit in by raising her arm in the air and leaning against the car, like the girl next to her.

The curtain rises to reveal the car and dancers to the audience. Ricky Ricardo leads the house band as the intro starts and the dancers begin to madly gyrate. Not to be outdone, Lucy mimics the dancers around her. Gesturing wildly with her arms, hands and hips.

“She’s into superstitions
Black cats and voodoo dolls.
I feel a premonition
That girls gonna make me fall.
She’s into new sensations
New kicks in the candlelight.
She’s got a new addiction
For every day and night”

Ricky croons and thrusts his hips to the music, to the delight of the crowd.

She’ll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain.
She’ll make you live her crazy life but she’ll take away your pain,
Like a bullet to your brain. Come on!

Lucy finally matches the dance beat and gets excited at just how close Ricky Martin is to her. Seeing several dancers between her and her heartthrob, she thinks of a plan to get closer still. An evil glint appears in her eye and as she thrusts her hips one way and another she approaches one of the dancers on the stage near her. The fringe on her dress takes up a wild dance in time with the motion of her hips. Right with the beat of the music, Lucy “bumps” the dancer nearest to her right off of the stage. After glancing down and assuring herself that she didn’t really hurt anyone, she works her way to the next dancer, gyrating the whole way. Noticing the commotion, Ricky Ricardo is aghast to see Lucy, not only on stage but doing away with her “competition”. His eyes bulging almost out of their sockets, he is at a loss of what to do. Slapping the side of his face he mutters, “Mira que tiene cosa la mujera esta!“ While conducting the band, Ricky slowly makes his way to the round stage to try and get control of his errant wife. Again, hands in the air and hips a-movin’, she “bumps” the next dancer with her left hip. The crowd, thinking it’s all part of the act, cheers with each vanquished dancer. Satisfied smile on her lips, she continues to eliminate each of the dancers on the round rotating stage until there is only herself, one last female dancer and Ricky Martin. Ricky Martin, still unaware of what’s going on, continues with his song and dance. To the delight of the crowded audience, the last dancer just gives up and jumps off of the stage, leaving Lucy all alone with Ricky Martin.

With a determined look and madly shaking hips and mass dancing red fringe she makes her way to Ricky, just as he is finishing his song.

“Upside, inside out
She’s livin’ la vida loca
She’ll push and pull you down
Livin’ la vida loca
Her lips are devil red
And her skin’s the color mocha

Lucy is finally dancing right next to Ricky Martin and the crowd cheers in what seems to be the finale of a wonderful show!

She will wear you out
Livin’ la vida loca
Come on!
Livin’ la vida loca
Come on!
She’s livin’ la vida loca

Finishes Ricky with gusto while the crowd applauds both Ricky and Lucy. That is the moment that Ricky Martin notices that it is Lucy next him, not one of the dancers. Being genuinely good natured, Ricky Martin just kisses Lucy’s cheek with a smile, which causes Lucy to blush. Ricky Ricardo on the other hand finally makes it up the stage and unable to contain himself any longer, he yells before breaking into a tirade of spanish, “LUCY! You got some splainin‘ to do!”