Holding back

Holding Back

I write to feel
My need is real
There's no escaping
The hole that's gaping
Inside my soul
My totem pole
Of mixed emotions
And bad love potions
In my own mind
The future is kind
But in my heart
I'm torn apart
Limb from limb
Learn to swim
In my own fears
Spill out my tears
Running, laughing, hiding, shaking
In this world there's love worth making
Rotting away, covered with dust
My mind has corroded all to rust
A deeper cut
My mouth stays shut
I run and hide
But I'm screaming inside
I wear the smile
But all the while
Burns the pain
Of what remains
Of the wall I built
Surrounded with guilt
I had no doubt
To keep you out
Forgive the sin . . .
I let you in