Ode to a Bully

Ode to a Bully

I am young and growing,
Finding out about myself.
I know there is another part of me;
Someone patiently waiting.

But something is wrong.
Is it me? Is it my fault
That all you do
Is tear me apart,
Break me down?

You take advantage of my nature,
Tread on my self-esteem.
You trample on my confidence -
My truth shall remain unseen.

What is it about me
That gives you the right
To deny me the chance
To be who I am?

You mock my way of thinking,
And jeer at what I do.
You see me close to tears,
And yet in some barbaric way
It makes you want to continue.

I cannot fight back.
You have weakened my spirit.
My body refuses to battle.
My inner self becomes cocooned.

I am now a shell,
Fragile and easily broken.
I lose count of the amount of times
I have to pick up my shattered pieces.

I withdraw into myself and hide.
But of course this makes it worse.
I sit, an unmoving target.
You take your best shots -
Bullseye each time.

I move on and you
Are out of my life.
Or are you?
No. You are here also.
There are many of you.

Years go by and I
Am subjected to your cruelty.
But isn't it funny how my weakness
Gives me the strength to fight on?

And what is this?
Is this what they call 'anger'?
It burns inside of me.
Is my truth starting to fight?

I explode.
You look shocked.
You smirk and quietly turn away.

And I turn my back on you.
A new bud of strength growing.
As time opens my budding flower,
I become the new me.

I am older and still growing,
Still finding out about myself.
And I know there is another part of me;
Someone cheering me on.