Self-Hatred

"Self-Hatred"
(08/29/2001 - 17 years old)

Where does this come from:
The hate I feel for me?
Never good enough for myself,
I love others unconditionally.

I've never been abused
And no one has gone away.
My parents are involved in my life
And say they love me every day.

So, why am I this monster,
This unlovable, grotesque being?
People say I'm beautiful.
Why can't I see what they're seeing?

The situation brings on guilt
Cuz things have really been quite fine.
With no trauma to be seen,
I should lead a happy life.

But, sad to say, its not that way.
For some reason its not too fun.
So, at 17 years, this is not the 1st time
I wish my life had never begun.

Because to go through life and only see
Whats wrong in what you do
Brings pains so great I really wish
I was the only one who knew.

But that is another thing
That just is not to be.
I wish I could help others,
But am told I can do more if I just help me.

Even so, I do what I can,
So I just want you to know
If ever you are hurting
Talk to me; I will not go.