Rain

Rain I (the original):

I miss the rain,
how its gray melancholy
drenches my pane,
its sodden, feather touch upon me.
It endures curses and staunch rejections,
and rebels, pounding against sheltered heads.
It's falsely accused of causing afflictions, of raising objections,
and driving its jurors to their beds.
If its destiny rested in human hands,
then surely it would suffer;
indeed it may not quench the lands.
Such doom for my sorrow's buffer.
And while it's wished away in song to come another day,
Before it has evaporated, for its return I've begun to pray.

Rain II (the edit/rewrite):

Today, my heart laments the absent rain;
how Mother Nature’s gray melancholy
pours its tears, dampening my windowpane,
feathering its sodden touch upon me.
The rain endures smirks and staunch rejections,
but she rebels by drenching sheltered heads.
Her April showers can bloom reflections;
drive those with old afflictions to their beds.
If the rain’s fate rested in human hands,
then surely her downpours just might suffer;
indeed, rain’s water might not quench the lands.
Such doom would befall my sorrow’s buffer.
   While rain is wished to come another day,
   Before she’s gone, for her return I pray.

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Why the rewrite?...I wanted to challenge myself to see if I could stretch my imagination and write a truer Shakespearean Sonnet.
How did I do?...