I'm mad

Hey Dad,

Its been what, 23 years since I last saw you. Mom said you were dead, and all the aunts and uncles said so, too...but I know otherwise. I've heard them whispering about you and all your other kids and how you used to be when you were around. I know your alive and I know you left us. I also think I know why. When I was younger I wanted you so badly, I would pretend that you really were dead and that you were this amazing guy when you were alive...even if I knew otherwise. I wished you would come back to us and I wished you were a changed man...no more women, no more getting blind drunk and no more hitting Mom. But I grew up! And now, I dont really want you to come back to stay, I just want to see you so I can tell you how mad I am.

Mom has been working since you left and she did a prety good job until she got sick...but I always felt that she was very lonely. I guess people really do change after a heartbreak. I remember a concerned uncle telling me what a terrible dad you were, how you used to beat up mom...the sad thing is I think Mom still loves you...And that really gets to me. I'm mad because Mom loved you, because she ran away with you even when grandma hated you, because you left her after you got tired.

I'm mad Dad because for 23 years you stayed away and you never tried to get in touch with us. I'm mad because I dont know what you look like how your voice sounds or how it feels to have you around. I'm mad Dad because you were never there...

Well, I just thought I'd let you know before I start my own family. And if I really do get married in September, I'd like to see you there. And who knows I might just let you give me away.