Defining Oneself

Is it only a woman thing that we are defined by the role we have at the moment? Derek’s mom. Ed’s wife. These are labels I’ve worn and even answered to in the past. In fact, some of my son’s friends still call me "Derek’s mom" instead of by name, even though he and they are 17 and 18 year olds.

It’s confusing once one’s role and status changes, often overnight it seems, from married to single (divorced or widowed). I used to not understand complaints of friends who said that they stopped receiving invitations to gatherings once their marital status changed. Now I understand. Now I’ve experienced that same thing.

Why is this? I haven’t really changed, for my true definition was never Derek’s mom or Ed’s wife.

My personality hasn’t changed. I’m still that same joyful, Ms. Merry Sunshine that I’ve always been.

I’m still and ever a child of God. If I must wear a label, let that be the one I embrace.