Interview with a Demon

INTERVIEW WITH A DEMON

Ad appearing on Screwtape’s Web Page on the Undernet:
Wanted: Energetic young demon interested in permanent position with afterlife benefits. Must be serious about advancement and willing to take instructions. Lack of moral fiber and scruples a definite advantage. Only graduates of Tempter’s Training College need apply. Recommendation by Slubgob helpful. Interview will be conducted on the undernet. Please include demonic-mail address on your application. Candidates will be contacted by d-mail. Send application to: [e-mail].

The foregoing ad received a reply that was satisfactory to Screwtape. A transcript of the undernet interview follows. Occasionally Screwtape runs recorded vignettes, which will be described in parentheses.

SCREWTAPE: From your application I note that your name is Seduza. The position you are interviewing for is that of an apprentice Tempter. The selected demon will become a member of my team. There are general qualifications, but, in addition to those, there will be some requirements of my own. I notice by your application that you are a female. There have been some very successful female operators in Our Fathers legions in the past; however, it has been quite some time since I, personally, have been associated with a female on the professional level. There is a screening test. I will present you with several case scenarios and I will expect you to give a plausible approach to each. What do you see as the main emphasis of the job?
SEDUZA: Well, temptation, I suppose. I mean, isn't that the name of the game?
SCREWTAPE: Certainly temptation is the first step, but you have a very shallow understanding of our job if you stop there! Continue.
SEDUZA: I know about clothes and makeup. I would deal well with women who are plain to focus all their energy, money and time on becoming beautiful. Appearance and self-interest are very compelling.
SCREWTAPE: Yes my dear, you are getting the idea. However, I fear that you are jumping ahead. Slubgob is certainly leaving the basics for on-the-job training. Do you have any other basic information about the requirements of this job?
SEDUZA: I beg to differ. Slubgob is the supreme educator in all of the Lowerarchy, sir. Besides temptation, what else is there?
SCREWTAPE: Well, there’s torture, agony, terror, guilt, and so on. You must learn to be subtler with the planting of ideas and suggestions. I will now present you some case histories of my own, and we will discuss methods as we proceed through them. These will be instructive, but you will be assigned on the basis of our discussion. These focus on the age appropriate temptations. All temptations are not created equal, you know. Since my nephew Wormwood was my apprentice, several psychological researchers have formulated systems of growth that detail our opportunities nicely. Wormwood, the ditz, could have used the help. (There is a bibliography provided on page 9 for further reading .) Pictures of the patients will appear on your screen and the caption will give details.

(The monitor shows a picture of an infant. The child is throwing baby cereal in all directions and screaming.)
CAPTION: Case 1. Boy -- 8 months old
Name: Trustin
Stages: Piaget--Sensorimotor
Erickson--Basic Trust vs. Basic Mistrust
Levinson--Childhood and Adolescence
Fowler--Undifferentiated Faith

SCREWTAPE: We cannot get this one until much later, but we can plant seeds that may be very helpful when he is older. What is your suggestion?
SEDUZA: I wouldn’t waste my time. He is secure from us until he is at least 13 or 14 years old. It might be useful to work on the parents or sitters. I suppose those are the seeds you mentioned.
SCREWTAPE: No, no, no! Notice the stages. He will learn to trust or mistrust. Another has labeled this Undifferentiated Faith. The urchin has no judgment. At this age you may be able to bend him in our direction by blocking his ability to trust.
SEDUZA: Sounds like a lot of work for nothing to me. Even if the little bugger should go over the edge, he is unavailable to us.
SCREWTAPE: The lack of security, consistency, and provision can seal mistrust in his experience. That was the first thing I tried. That is the seed that bears fruit and makes him reject the Enemy and become available to us. Undifferentiated faith is very difficult to approach. Only well-seasoned and patient demons are assigned to this group. I doubt that you are appropriate for this patient.
SEDUZA: I hate the little monsters. I certainly don’t want to be assigned to one. The parents are the place to work.
SCREWTAPE: The hate part is hopeful. Certainly the parents have caseworkers, too, but they come later.

(Trustin smiles joyously at his mother and claps.
The monitor changes to a pouting blonde girl. She is laughing and sticking her tongue out at her mother.)
CAPTION: Case 2. Girl -- Age 4 1/2
Name: Intuitia
Stages: Piaget - Preoperational or Intuitive
Erickson--Initiative vs. Guilt
Fowler--Intuitive-Projective Faith

SCREWTAPE: She is in danger of developing an intuitive-projective faith. Suggestions?
SEDUZA: Really, Screwtape. This is almost as bad as the wretched infant. Listening to this brat talk all day is not my idea of a job that befits my station. I was a horror graduate from the Training College.
SCREWTAPE: A horror graduate of that wretched school is all you’re ever going to be if you don’t shape up and work at this. I think there used to be a time when being a horror graduate meant something.
(Seduza pouts at her monitor mocking Intuitia's expression momentarily; then, she sits up and replies to Screwtape's question.)
SEDUZA: Temper tantrums are the best suggestion I can offer. It looks like she is in the grip of one now. I doubt if I could improve on that.
SCREWTAPE: Language gives the child the opportunity to express her feelings. “I am me and I am not you.” Cognitions are on the intuitive level. You can help her to express negative and abusive language. Since humans tend to believe what they say about themselves and what others say about them, this will create the idea in the child that she is bad.
SEDUZA: O.K. Is that all?
SCREWTAPE: This is a fertile stage for a really skilled Tempter. A child at this age accepts anything, believes anything. You can plant the most useful ideas at this time. Since her imagination is unrestrained, you can possess it with images of terror and destructiveness. You may win her in the end, but, again, this is planting seeds for a future harvest.
SEDUZA: All right, all right. So I would plant feelings of shame and guilt. I suppose that would be the most productive thing for later. But I want to harvest now. I am young enough to advance in the Lowerachy of administration, but I feel I must make a mark and have success to be recognized.

(Intuitia is still making faces at her mother. She says, “The Devil is mean and bad. and I can make him mad. Ha, ha, ha.” The tune of ”This Little Light of Mine” rings out, and Intuitia’s voice sings “ Won’t let Satan blow it out--no.” As the scene on the monitor begins to fade, Screwtape slinks away from the singing child.
A thin girl somewhat tall for her age wearing glasses and a bad hair cut and carrying a baseball bat appears on the screen. She grimaces and sneers at a fellow player as she strikes out.)
CAPTION: Case 3. Girl--Age 10
Name: Mytha
Stages: Piaget--Concrete Operational
Kohlberg--Instrumental Exchange
Erickson--industry vs. Inferiority
Fowler--Mythic Literal Faith

SCREWTAPE: A child learns to use tools, handle objects, and be industrious. If she meets with failure, you have an excellent opportunity to promote feelings of inferiority. If, on the other hand, she is successful, you may be able to lead her into a wonderful arrogance. You may be able to blow her away in at least one subject in school. Being destructive is also very good.
SEDUZA: I remember moral development begins during this stage at about six, and starting school seems like an opportunity to mess her up. Does it work?
SCREWTAPE: Yes. This is where a very productive thing happens. I have an operator that specializes in this age. He plants in the mind of the patient the concept of fairness so firmly that the whole scheme of his life is dictated by his perception of fairness. Much misery is caused by those fateful words, “It’s not fair! It’s not fair!”
SEDUZA: She, it is a girl; please say she.
SCREWTAPE: I was trying.
SEDUZA: This was one of my favorites, too. Heteronomous Morality and Instrumental Exchange come into play. She learns to believe that anything that gets her what she wants is good and anything that causes her distress is bad. I would want her punished for trying to be obedient to parents and teachers and rewarded for covering up her mistakes. This is the time to perfect her ability to lie.
SCREWTAPE: That is a very good analysis of Heteronomous Morality. Old Hetter would even appreciate it. Can you do the same for Instrumental Exchange?
SEDUZA: Simple: You help me; I’ll help you. They learn to return a favor or to pay back.
SCREWTAPE: You and I know that we can produce unfair situations. Once he or she is trapped in the fairness cycle, there will always be someone to retaliate toward. He or she will then become a perfect little jerk. Be cautious though. Here is where he first, or she, becomes aware of his or her place in the community. The stories and symbols begin to mean something.

(The baseball whizzes by the player and she calls out to another player who is almost hit.
“Gee, thanks. You saved me.” The two players give the high five and resume the game as the umpire sweeping home plate brushes Screwtape aside.
The screen changes to a youth of about 17 on a sidewalk with several other boys. They laugh and shout derisive jibes at boys on the other side of the street.)
CAPTION: Case 4. Boy--Age 17
Name: Synven
Stages: Piaget--Formal Operations, Kohlberg--Mutual Interpersonal Relations, Erickson--Identity vs. Role Confusion,
Fowler--Synthetic-Conventional Faith.

SCREWTAPE: Belonging is soooo important: he really wants to fit in. Draw him to associate with those who rebel and act impetuously. Pride is the best characteristic to promote.
SEDUZA: Sex is very important to the adolescent. I am not the flamboyant type, but I do enjoy the male’s loss of control in sexual situations. They become quite foolish.
SCREWTAPE: Be very careful not to depend too heavily on the physical temptations at this stage. The ability to think about and feel and internalize all that ludicrous stuff the Enemy tells them about sin and salvation becomes very real to his maturing brain. If you were successful at planting the images of terror at Intuitia's age, now is the time to feed those images with scenes from Waco, Oklahoma City, the World Trade Center, or maybe Northern Ireland or Serbia.
SEDUZA: Insipid creature! According to my handbook, this time provides an excellent chance to misdirect him in regards to his personal identity. Role confusion is wonderful! There are still a few gangs that follow our cause, or better yet a terrorist group. Oh this is a wonderful age. Don’t you have any women?
SCREWTAPE: He has other people to influence him than just his family. If you cannot actually gain control over him at this time, you might be able to stunt his growth, retard his movement toward maturity.
Remember that the morality thing is developing, too. There is that Law of Human Nature that produces an inner respect for certain levels of honor and righteousness. You must appeal to his selfishness and egocentric interests to combat it.
(Synven is seen leaving the group of boys and entering a church on the corner while Screwtape is detained and soundly thrashed by a tall imposing angel. Screwtape fast-forwards the tape until Synven comes out of the church. He follows Synven at some distance noting the armor he is wearing and sensing the presence of the angel.)
SCREWTAPE: Retreat, if you must, but never, never give up. You will get another chance.

(The screen changes to show a plain woman dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. She is scrubbing a dirty garbage can. Her face is strained and sweaty.)
CAPTION: Case 5. Woman--Age 28
Name: Indiflecta
Stages: Kohlberg--Social System and Conscience;
Erickson--Intimacy vs. Isolation; Levinson--Entering the Adult World; Fowler--Individuative-reflective Faith.
SEDUZA: A woman at last.
SCREWTAPE: Are you happy now?
SEDUZA: Are you going a little crazy with the names here? Just call her Indi. She looks a little stressed out.
SCREWTAPE: This is the stressed out age. Some of them call it the young adult stage, or the novice adult stage and the Individuative-Projective Stage of Faith is appropriate now. Whatever you call it, it’s the time when humans declare their place in society and choose to be intimate with others or to be isolated.
SEDUZA: I thought that was in the teen years.
SCREWTAPE: That was fidelity and loyalty. More attention was paid to belonging to the group. This is more personal. If I must I say the word its love.
SEDUZA: Intimacy is ripe with possibilities. We're back to sex, right?
SCREWTAPE: No, not necessarily. Making friends they can share with is just awful. If they have anyone who will challenge them honestly or be, dare I say the word again, loving, we have a real problem. This may, indeed, be a spouse. But, of course, if they must marry, you want it to be a disaster. She does have someone who might be useful. He isn't a Christian. If you do use sex, it needs to be for physical gratification only. Affection or compassion is contraindicated. We will discuss perversion later.
SEDUZA: Should I try to keep her isolated and alone? I like arrogance in a woman, maybe pride, too.
SCREWTAPE: If you can suggest bitterness and anger toward anyone, her over-bearing mother or the lover who jilted her, isolation may be very productive. In this stage they often do not listen to inner voices. It makes it hard for the Enemy to speak to them. It is our best opportunity. They are more concerned with outward events. Pride and arrogance work well here. Don’t think it will be easy though. This is the age group that produced Women's Lib and the Civil Rights movement.
SEDUZA: What about the woman on the screen? She looks like someone I would like to work with. She's not pretty, but I could really make her think she could be. Eye makeup and black hose would certainly help.
SCREWTAPE: Don't bother. She knows how to use makeup. She is a beauty consultant. But today she is cleaning the kitchen at the homeless shelter. Others, even I, have worked on her vanity and were unsuccessful, but that is an acceptable suggestion. She does have an illness that might cause some distress and doubt. A little wedge of "It's not fair. Look how hard I work." There is a place to begin.
SEDUZA: So you're not giving up?
SCREWTAPE: Never! There are a few points I want to make here. I mentioned isolation as being helpful. We might even call it distantation. We had some very pronounced successes with the “Hillside Strangler,” “Son of Sam,” and England’s new “Jack the Ripper.” Women became victims because the killers feared being overwhelmed by a female. They felt they had to maintain distance. I really enjoyed them, every one. True successes!
SEDUZA: There have been women of equal acclaim, or should I say disdain. I would be honored to have such a patient.
SCREWTAPE: Very true. This is also a time when some symbols and values are violated. In the teen years he is coming to understand some of the stories he has been bombarded with. In adulthood he may lose some of the fantasy and face a new reality. It is very helpful to our cause that, at this time, he doesn’t reflect on inner meanings, etc. He gets married, moves up in the company, buys a house and has children. He thinks he has arrived. To your advantage you will find that he is subject to excessive confidence of his own opinions and ideas. Pride fits right in. If he has any level of authority, you should promote arrogance and misuse of power. Beware here; make sure he doesn't reflect honestly on himself and his place in society. You don’t have long though. This woman may soon enter a transition stage where she will be less sure of herself. In the next stage she is likely to recall images from childhood. A gnawing sense of emptiness may make her open to new calls. I am thinking of our next patient, but, yes, it’s all true for women too.

(A new image fills the screen. It is a man in his late thirties. He is playing ball with two boys of 10 and 12. The silhouette of Screwtape creeps away in the background.)
CAPTION: Case 6. Man--Age 38
Name: Junc
Stages: Kohlberg--Social Contract and Individual Rights
Erickson--Generativity vs. Stagnation Levinson--Mid-Life Transition
Fowler--Conjunctive Faith

SCREWTAPE: A man is our next victim, or rather patient, finds life is different than he anticipated. He has had demands and disappointments. He has experienced defeat That defeat can be very helpful if you can convince him that this is a test or that God is punishing him for some faux pas: losing his job, death in the family, divorce, illness.
SEDUZA: He looks like he belongs to the enemy already. He seems to be quite secure. I see the car there; the children are obedient; he dresses well. Is there any way to attack him?
SCREWTAPE: Of course, there is a way. His wife died. He thinks that is a punishment from God. What they never seem to remember is that He doesn’t punish. We have that privilege. The Enemy will certainly support him and sustain him through the difficulty, but right now he is vulnerable. He feels like he cannot raise his children. He thinks he will make them criminals because their mother died. He was driving the car when they had the wreck. Guilt is a wonderful tool. If his tempter Mudbug is careful, old Junc will feel the hot flames of Hell for every mistake or error the little rebels ever make. You must never let the patient see that he is not held accountable for other’s choices, even his children’s. Psychologists have been blaming the parents for years when the little brats are susceptible to temptation. We do have most of them on our side. Some help out because they don’t believe in us. That’s just as good.
SEDUZA: You mean he was in the Enemy’s camp, but we could still pull this one out?
SCREWTAPE: Yes, indeed, yes. One of the most dangerous things Mudbug faces with this patient is that he is beginning to recognize paradox. Those contradictions we depended on so heavily when he was younger might be understood and valued by him now. However, if Mudbug has done his job well, he may become cynical and pass into a paralyzing passivity. Use bitterness and lost opportunity to your best advantage.
SEDUZA: How about an affair?
SCREWTAPE: That’s possible. He might be convinced he is violating the memory of his wife. The guilt might completely undo him. The marriage angle might get the same results. Of course, that is always better if you can convince the brats that the woman is a hussy and the woman that the brats are ax murderers. There is one more danger here. This is the time when the humans begin to want to mentor. Block that at all costs. It makes them feel useful and needed and strangely humble.
SEDUZA: So we strive for wasted and used up. Stagnant, moldy--that’s the ticket. You haven't mentioned pain or illness. You haven't said much about pressure or loss either.
SCREWTAPE: The pain and disaster theory is fine if your patient has no faith in the Enemy; however, should he be a Christian you may be in trouble. You may spend many a lazy afternoon watching those that don't know Him writhe and twist in the face of an ill wind, but those that belong to Him are well nigh impossible to disengage. I refer you to Job and Paul.

(The screen lights up with a new face. It is a woman of about 70. She appears to be of modest, certainly frugal, means. Letters, pictures and memorabilia surround her. She is obviously loved.)
CAPTION: Case 7. Woman--Age 70
Name: Universe
Stages: Kohlberg--Universal Ethical Principles; Erickson--Integrity vs. Despair;
Levinson--Late Adulthood;
Fowler--Universalizing Faith

SCREWTAPE: This is the final stage that the humans have recognized. We can call her Universe if you like. If you haven’t got your man by now, it may be too late. On the other we don’t stand to lose many this late either. Not many people change their loyalties now.
SEDUZA: Don’t you mean woman?
SCREWTAPE: Uh, oh, yes.
SEDUZA: You finally give up? Have you used poverty as a trap?
SCREWTAPE: We don‘t ever give up, but poverty is the social science excuse. One of them called this stage Integrity vs. Despair. If the patient despairs you may have won, but if he has achieved integrity and has experienced Universalizing Faith, the best you may be able to gain is to discount his testimony. Anyone who enters this stage may well be beyond our grasp, however, despair is for him or her: We never despair.
SEDUZA: What else is there? I see what you mean about there being all kinds of ways to break them and lead them astray. But when you’ve lost, you’ve lost.
SCREWTAPE: We can hope to compromise the patient’s witness and testimony about the Enemy. That very often shakes their confidence and brings them to our side. You want to make a mark. This patient could surely make you noticed if you succeeded with her.
SEDUZA: My best thing is vanity and pride. She is too old to be vain and too smart to be proud.
SCREWTAPE: Sometimes illness or age alone will help to weaken any influence the patient has. The nobility and transcendence of the ideas and behavior of people in this stage makes them impenetrable to our best advances. They often become martyrs to their causes: Gandhi, Bonhoffer, that Teresa person, and Universe, too. She actually had some wealth and position, but she has done some rather self-serving philanthropy with it. It turned some of her family against her. She felt it was hers to do with as she pleased. It was easy to suggest greed and avarice to the family. Some of them are ours now. Universe wanted the praise and accolades that went with the gifts, so she didn’t succumb to their nagging. Of course, the Enemy egged it on. They thought they could convince her to leave it in her will; then, they planned to break the will. She gave it all away before they could stop her. It is easy to discount people like her because hardly any human can understand or appreciate the level of their commitment or their vision. Nobody understands them, much less lives by their example. We can brush them off by saying they did not experience temptation or they did not face reality or they were senile. Her current caseworker is Saliva Drool. She has made that much progress.
(Universe sees Screwtape and wags her index finger. “No, no, I’m not listening to you today,“ she says laughing at him. Screwtape promptly stops the tape.)
SCREWTAPE: Do you have any questions?
SEDUZA: You spend much time in talking about people who have made commitments to Him. What about the ones who have not? Isn’t that the place to work?
SCREWTAPE: Those who have never committed to Him are ours by default. We are commissioned to steal, corrupt, or maneuver the Christians to Our Father Below and to destroy the influence of the Church. Slubgob should be brought up on charges if he hasn’t made that the primary lesson of every class.
SEDUZA: O.K. I understand. I have another question. You have reviewed seven patients. I have seen the most useful ways to approach these seven. Do these apply to everyone?
SCREWTAPE: The stages are typical. All people do not enter them at the same age, but they do seem to be sequential. Some people do not progress as rapidly as others. The stages are appropriate for certain life events. You should always be alert to the particular situation and problem at hand. For instance, if the patient is married, feed him or her the idea that freedom is essential or he married too soon. If he or she is unmarried, convince him or her that loneliness is tragic. In the case of Indi, the makeup person, she should be lead to discount anyone who doesn’t use her brand. You must be on constant guard. Lead the patient to fear the unknown. “What is going to happen tomorrow?“ Junc is a good example. “What if people talk?“ Uncertainties plant fear and will undo some of them quite readily. Beware that you patient has no one to talk to honestly. Remember the thing about isolation and intimacy. One true and close friend can undo months of your most earnest work. I had that happen once. I had a patient so concerned about what people would say about him that he was ready for any suggestion I might make. He said to his friend, “What will I do if people talk?”
His friend said, “Let ‘em.”
“Let ‘em? What do you mean let ‘em?”
“Well,” he said. “You can’t stop ‘em. They’re gonna talk anyway. Let ‘em.” And he did. He quit worrying and took firm and positive action that invalidated several months of careful work. Don’t be fooled by the lowbrow types either. They may not be well read or sophisticated, but they can be so honest. It’s appalling. Do you have any views on perversions?
SEDUZA: I suppose sexual ones are acceptable. They do seem to be so obvious. The newspapers, magazines, women’s clubs, just everyone is pointing out how dangerous they are. Everyone gives verbal assent to the danger and evil of them. That makes them much more difficult to use than in the old days when nobody talked about sex at all.
SCREWTAPE: Be sure you don’t confuse perversion with sex in a loving marriage. At that point sex is a deadly enemy rather than a friend. It can be the sustaining element in a marriage that you might easily break without it. It is a creative force, and that alone makes it a property akin to Him who is our enemy. In the right hands it can be perverted, but it must be handled carefully. Make it the object of obsession.
SEDUZA: With the advent of Women’s Lib I really thought that we kind of had a handle on sexual manipulation. I am really interested in women. If I have a chance to choose, I would like to request a woman patient.
SCREWTAPE: My dear, how naive! I quite agree that we used the male dominated society to our advantage for centuries. Surely you can’t believe that old saw about women abdicating their responsibilities with the home and children sending the whole show our way. Women are the most disgusting creatures, however they are competent and capable and we should never underestimate them.
There are many examples throughout the ages of women who were skilled in all areas of endeavor--medicine, law, business, theology, and instruction, even war. I feared that those that saw
Women’s Lib as being to our advantage were overly confident. It has realigned society on some levels, but it has certainly not been to our advantage. Much of it has been beneficial to Him.
SEDUZA: But the women who work have deserted their home. Doesn’t that help us in the areas of infidelity and child rebellion?
SCREWTAPE: You foolish girl. You have believed our own propaganda. It was never staying at home that made women faithful. A woman who was unhappy at home did not run a well-adjusted and efficient household. She dealt misery to everyone she was living with. Children are obedient because they are loved and disciplined. Women who find ways to make their lives fulfilling and remain chaste are the most dangerous to our cause. It does seem He fits them for self-sacrificing service. They find that wherever they go. Disgusting, truly disgusting. Do you have any more questions?
SEDUZA: Yes, you have said very little about truly evil people, except those wonderful serial killers. What can we do to produce those perverse and lecherous types that the movies and TV brag about so much?
SCREWTAPE: Oh, we have quite a few of them. They are engaged in international drug traffic, child prostitution, and murder for hire, that sort of thing. Remember that the degree of evil is not the issue. Only the lack of redemption is counted. The things I have focused on are the opening wedge to that wonderful world to which you refer.
SEDUZA: I suppose that supervising apprentices is new to you. Do you answer to someone higher up?
SCREWTAPE: Quite the contrary. I have supervised many apprentices and whom I answer is no business of yours. You need to remember who is conducting this interview.
SEDUZA: Sorry. You seem anxious.
(Screwtape’s breathing becomes somewhat rapid.)
SCREWTAPE: Anxious, me anxious. Nonsense. Back to the questions. There are many new diversions available. Video games, chat rooms, designer drugs. How do you see these as assets in your efforts?
SEDUZA: All of them distract the human mind from what they consider profitable pursuits. The games can be quite harmless and even fun. So I don’t give them much attention. The chat rooms are mostly just time wasting. The drugs are really compelling. I think there are many more ways to implement them.
SCREWTAPE: True, there are more ways to use the drugs, but don’t underestimate the addictive power of the games and computers. You should be familiar with the characteristics of “innocent fun,” dangers for us, which I taught to Wormwood. You need to encourage obsessions and compulsions. Never leave anything alone that is just fun. Most advances and technology are neutral Human beings are sometimes dependent on things. They feel they have to be entertained; they want to go to the new resort; they want to own the new gadget. Almost anything can become the object of an obsession.
SEDUZA: I noticed that when you referred to the patients we saw on the tape, you mentioned their tempters, but in the tape you were always the one in charge of the patient. Have they been reassigned?
SCREWTAPE: Those are all in my stable. The tempters are on my team, as you will be, if you are chosen.
SEDUZA: It seems to me that you are turning over your failures to team member so you won’t be blamed. What does the Lowerarchy think of that?
SCREWTAPE: What the Lowerarchy thinks is that you are a meddlesome worm not worthy to be in the ranks of this command.
SEDUZA: I rather like you Screwtape. I have learned from you today. I would like to be a member of your team. I would like to be assigned to a 19-year-old woman who isn‘t beautiful. I want to have some fun grooming her to be both vain and arrogant. I do like arrogant women. If you find my request unacceptable, I have here the d-mail address of the Snitches Network. We can both submit a report and see which one lights a fire.
(Screwtape sits immobilized for a moment. He begins to exude vapor and noxious odors. His color deepens until he becomes quite purple. His secretary Toadpipe appears and takes over the keyboard.)
TOADPIPE: Abysmal Sublimity Under Secretary Screwtape is unable at this time to communicate with anyone. He indicates that the proposal you have made is acceptable for the present. A contract will be forwarded by d-mail. Please review it and, if you agree, click the “I accept“ button.
(The screen fades. Screwtape breathes deeply inhaling the smoke and fumes that have filled the room.)
“ She is going to be an interesting case. I will enjoy this association more than I thought,” he says to himself. He clicks on a file of a young woman about 19 who is not beautiful. The file reveals that the woman has made a commitment to be a Christian and applied for Missionary school.
“She will find that liking the patient may be her undoing. I’ll have one of them or I’ll have the other. It’s no matter to me.” His color clears and he smiles with great satisfaction. "As I told Wormwood, 'Bring food or be food.'"



BIBLIOGRAPHY

Fowler, James, STAGES OF FAITH, (San Francisco:          Harper, 1981).
Levinson, Daniel J., THE SEASONS OF A MAN’S LIFE          (New York: Knopf, 1978)
Levinson, Daniel J., THE SEASONS OF A WOMAN’S          LIFE (New York: Ballantine Books , 1997).
Lewis, C.S, THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS 1941