Don't Marry Her

Ring... Ring... Ring...

* * * * *

If I could have seen her involvement with the Mob before the wedding I might not be in this situation. Of course when he asked me to be his best man it was already too late to back out. I tried for a couple of month’s to get those two apart. I tried to introduce Fred to other woman, I tried to get him drunk and set him up with a prostitute, hell, I even tried telling him the truth, that is soon to be wife was the daughter of the infamous mob boss, Hector the Hand.

Hector the Hand received his nickname because he had his hand in everything that the mob did, and of course there was his way of punishing the people who were short on their repaying expectations. He would cut off their hands. This is where I come in

My attempts of breaking up the happy couple didn’t go undetected by one of Hector’s henchmen, and he went straight to the boss. When the order was put out on my head I knew I only had a few hours to live. In some sort of joke they tied me up and sat me at the construction site in view of the clock tower on the old City Hall.

At the time of my capture I had the engagement ring in my possession. I wore it on my left pinky finger, just past the first knuckle. After all I didn’t want to let my best friend down by losing his ring. Low and behold, who was to show up before the body cavity search but Hector the Hand. He had to teach me a lesson about messing with the affairs of his daughter’s life. He cut off my left hand and tossed it out on 42nd and Main.

Talk about frustrating, here I am at the end of my life and my best friend is marrying into the Mob, and I can’t even think of a way to tell Hector that his daughter’s wedding ring was on the hand that he just severed from my wrist. When he asked me where it was all I could do was shrug my shoulders and hope for the best...a quick death.

It didn’t happen. Garcia, the Left Hand of Hector’s held in a full nelson while Hector hit me a few times in the gut. “Where is that ring?”

“It was on my left hand”

“Why would you wear my daughter’s ring at all? Are you one of those weirdoes?”

“I didn’t think you would cut off my hand when you were going to kill me any ways”

“Kill him and then go to that all night jewelry store and get my daughter a new ring.”

“Yes, Boss”

And that is my frustrating story...