A Lifetime of Hardship

searching for the meaning locked inside
hiding from the void that is my mind
constantly messing with my head
thinking i'm better off dead
tired of fighting, no time to rest
constant strife through the mess
is this life? to never be satisfied
at every turn told another lie
jerked around like a fuking toy
never knowing true joy
only having the lack of pain
and they wonder why i'm not sane?