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| >> Static Item >> Fiction >> Animal >> ID #386038 |   |
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CIRCUS MONKEYS
Chapter 11 I dreamt that night, I don't remember all that exactly happened but I do know that when I woke up, I had a smile on my face and Joshua's heavenly smelling sweatshirt pressed up to my nose. I rolled over in my bed, his shirt still clutched in my hand. I looked up at the ceiling, thinking yet again. Today would be the deciding day; I could feel it in my heart. Whatever happened today, however Joshua and I reacted to each other, would determine whether or not we would be friend, enemies...or more than friends. More than friends? Really? The questions poked into my mind and I finally just pushed them out. This wasn't something to sit and contemplate about, it was something to just go and find out. No matter what I decided in my mind, my heart - and Joshua's actions - would eventually just win out anyway. I was about to roll out of the bed when I suddenly thought of my mom. The day was going to be a very important and memorable one, and I wanted her there right now. I blinked a few times, still looking at the ceiling. I wondered if she ever stared up like I was, thinking about dad. Sure, they slept together but maybe there were times when they fought, and she came here - or he was still working when she went to go to bed so she came here. Maybe she laid just like this, and thought just like I was doing right then. I sighed softly and swallowed. I felt a little closer to her in that instant, thinking those thoughts. Then, without another wasted moment, I crawled out of bed and went to take a shower. It seemed it wasn't until I stepped outside that I remembered what day it was. The day before opening. And, with a quick check to my watch, past noon on the day before opening. That meant that they were preparing for the huge dress rehearsal and putting together the last minute everything. I growled. Great, did we really have to have our little "encounter" the day before opening, just about the one day I can't go bug him?! But I decided to press forward anyway, I didn't need to have an in depth conversation with him - I just needed to say three little words. Hey, Good Luck. Yeah, I wasn't about to say any other three little words any time soon. As I moved through the familiar territory, I found myself surrounded by frantic and scurrying people. If I wasn't on this mission, I would have run back to the trailer and hidden for the rest of the day. It was, well, it was a circus out here! I looked around, trying to find any sort of glimpse of Joshua, or even his mother. But neither of them was around. All I could see were a few little lion girls, the juggling group of five, and a half dressed clown running chasing the chimp who - yes had his bright red nose. Suddenly, a voice called out my name and I spun around, expecting to see Joshua's smiling face. Instead I got the face of Rupert. "Mallory!" He looked frantic and I had to restrain myself from running away, I knew what was coming. "Please, can you help me get the animals in order? Rehearsal is starting so soon and the animals are all anxious. They know the big day is upon us!" I didn't have the heart to say I couldn't, not with that desperate look in his eyes. Plus, with one last look around, I knew it would be virtually impossible to find Joshua anywhere in that mess right now. So, I followed Rupert through the crowd and to the animal pens. He hadn't been kidding when he said the creatures knew it was time to be all rowdy and loud. I was soon busy holding ropes and such as he strapped on all the needed equipment. Thankfully, he wasn't too far behind and it didn't take long before they were all secured as they should be. "Now, can you just go around and try to calm them down a bit, I have to go check on what the schedule is." I nodded as Rupert scampered off and laid a soft hand on a llama. It looked at me curiously and I couldn't help smiling. I was beginning to like the excitement of the day. Even though I wasn't performing, I could feel the anticipation building up. There wouldn't be an audience out there tonight, but it was still a big deal to everyone since tomorrow, there would be. I had gently patted most of the animals when Rupert came back. "Ok, it's just about time! Thank you so much Mallory for helping me out." "No problem. Do you need me anymore?" I asked, slightly anxious. He shook his head and I smiled, giving one last extra pat to Poppy and headed toward the big tent. Joshua would be around there somewhere. Then, just as I had that thought, there he was. Alright dressed up in that amazing outfit of his for I moment I just considered standing there and looking at him, but I decided against it. I needed to talk to him now, after that I could look at him - from near or afar. I walked closer and for some reason barely registered the way he was standing. He was all alone and just stood in the middle of the walk, head down. He was still, standing in a calm manner. A sharp contrast to what was around him. But I was too focused to notice and yelled his name to get his attention. "Josh!" I cried, a few feet away but he didn't turn. My brow furrowed as I moved closer. "Hey, Josh!" Still, he didn't answer me. My eyebrows crinkled even more and I didn't speak again until I was basically next to him. Why was he standing like that? Something wasn't right..."Joshua?" "What?" He asked, his voice harsh. He turned to me sharply and I took a step back, shocked. That wasn't what I expected at all and definitely not the reaction I had been looking for. He looked at me and the last expression I had expected was there - frustration. And it was directed straight at me. "I...uh..." I was stunned. I just didn't know what to say. The expression in his eyes eased. "I was trying to concentrate. I'm sorry if I scared you." He said, his tone of voice was sympathetic but his body was still tense. "Now, what do you want?" I felt completely out of place, like I had just intruded on forbidden land in a foreign country that I hadn't had realized was forbidden. And the worst part was I didn't know the native language. And now I had to explain that my simple desire to walk there was my only, and dumb, reason for being there. I could feel my cheeks starting to flush. "I - good luck." I said and before he could respond, or even gave me a thankful look, there was a voice behind telling everyone to line up. It was time. Joshua didn't even look at me before he turned and went to line up. I was about to turn around and go back to the trailer, completely confused, hurt, and just plain let down. What had just happened? Sure, I might have broken his concentration but I didn't realize it. I just felt completely weird, and at the same time trying my best to push it away. I didn't want that interaction to be the deciding one of what would happen with us. I gazed up and found Joshua again but this time I felt more that just a certain disappointment, I felt utter pain. And deep down, there was some fury too. He was talking to Tanya. Her blonde, Barbie doll hair was flung flirtatiously around her face as she laughed. I could hear the high pitched giggle from where I was standing and glared despite myself. She was standing there, jiggling her knees and shaking her hands about, presumably telling him about how nervous she was. Then, I felt my heart drop as he laughed right along with her. They said a few more things and then she gave him an especially long hug. I didn't count for how long it was because I simply couldn't watch anymore. I turned on my heel and bolted as fast as I could back to the trailer. I was really beginning to like that place. It was a great sanctuary. Yup, it's time to lie on that bed and get closer to my mom again. "Circus Monkeys -- Chap 12" 
© Copyright 2002 Madame Lunacy! (UN: xena_12 at Writing.Com).
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