Nobody's Perfect

First appeared in the Summer 2002 Issue of Dog-Eared E-Zine.

There was never a good reason to phone Bandy. Excuses sure, but never reasons. His life was too far removed from the rest of the world’s and there was no one from outside who could call simply to say hello.

Maria called him. She pushed a strand of her straight dark hair behind her ear and hurried into the excuse. "Have you seen Tyne?"

"Of course," Bandy said and issued a low moan, followed by a lion-sized yawn. Maria pictured him grimacing at her inane question, could easily imagine the lines from sweat-wrinkled sheets scoring his naked body. His eyes would be closed. He never opened his eyes when he answered the phone from his bed. Of course he’d seen Tyne, the real question was had he seen her recently?

"In the last day or two I mean," Maria shook her head and mentally berated herself for not asking the question properly. Bandy was literal and had no patience for ambiguity of any kind. Maria didn’t fit in his world despite how hard she had tried. He was not an easy person to please. Even though he had shrugged and said, "I’ve had better," after the first time she’d slept with him, he had still deigned to have sex with her occasionally, and even announce they were friends.

Friends. Right. Did friends have to watch every move they made, every word they spoke, for fear of offending the Perfect Ones?

"I saw her last night. Why are you asking me this? What’s it to you if I’ve seen Tyne?"

Maria wanted to hang up the phone and just forget the whole thing. She wouldn’t do that though. The thought of giving up and admitting defeat had come to her at least three or four times in every conversation she’d ever had with him—but he just had that . . . something. An elusive quality that made people want to know him, want to be around him, drinking in everything he said, did or thought. Maria had determined Bandy had no friends, only victims—at least until Tyne came along.

"I . . . just haven’t seen her lately." Maria knew Tyne had spent the night with Bandy. Tyne fit in his world.

"Well I have seen her lately," he said. "Are we done? Don’t you have some dishes to go wash or something?"

Maria told herself she wasn’t jealous and tried to remember that she had no cause to be. She and Bandy had never been an item. He and Tyne were the beautiful people she wanted to be with and be like, or at least be liked by. Maria was the type that had spent years as the quiet one, the girl that never spoke up in school and didn’t even have good grades to redeem her as distinct. She was a non-entity in a world of real people. She didn’t want the popular crowd or the jocks or even to be close enough to others to be considered a ‘peep.’

All she wanted was to be part of the beautiful world; that secret society where all the members were incredibly intelligent, and used that intelligence to beautify themselves, their minds and their lives. They were the people who were so high above everyone else in every way and knew it so well, they didn’t bother pretending humility.

To Maria, there were no more ‘real’ people than them. They were so real, they didn’t have to play at being ‘ordinary’ to satisfy the morality of those most mundane underlings like Maria. They knew they were condescending, but also knew they had a right to be. Even when they did extend themselves to lesser mortals like her, it was never done to make themselves feel better, or more connected to others. They did it because they wanted to do it—pure altruism. They could afford their accidental condescension as easily as they did their intentional attitudes. They were perfect.

"Bandy?"

"Oh, you’re still there," Bandy said sleepily, "and I’m still holding the phone. Who knew?" His laugh was deep and rich even when muffled with recent sleep. The sound sent sexual shivers through Maria’s body. Despite everything, she still wanted him.

"Tyne. Where is she?" Maria asked. "She didn’t come home last night."

"She’s right . . . " Bandy gasped. Maria smiled and for the first time, was glad she’d called. Obviously, he’d opened his eyes.

"Bandy? Is everything okay?" Maria felt a surge of power she hadn’t expected to feel. She’d called out of curiosity, only wanting to know how he would react to his world being less than stellar.

"What the—? Menses gone out of control, or what the hell?"

She could hear the confusion in his voice, could picture that perfect forehead slightly creased between his brows. Maria pressed the phone closer to her ear, straining to hear the background noises. She heard the flapping of sheets being flung aside—she heard it as clearly as if she were there in the room. He breathed heavily as he made his way out of the bedroom and lumbered about to other rooms in the house. Maria couldn’t tell what path he took, but she heard the distinct clunk of doors banging hard against walls. She was surprised he hadn’t dropped the phone somewhere along the way. He’d make his way back to the bedroom once he’d discovered Tyne couldn’t be found anywhere else in the house. He’d find her.

"Oh my God." Bandy’s voice was a hoarse whisper. "Tyne!" Bandy screamed.

He dropped the phone and half-screamed, half-cried Tyne’s name. He screamed it again, and again, anguish in every breath.

Maria smiled as she hung up the phone. Bandy was right as usual. She did have dishes to do. Her mother, much like Bandy and Tyne, had always told her never to leave the dirty dishes overnight.

Oh well, she thought, rinsing her favorite butcher knife. Nobody’s perfect. It’s human nature to have to deal with little left over messes now and then.