When It's You vs. Your Parents

When It's You vs. Your Parents . . .
and They Just Won't Accept What You're saying!

This is a problem that occurs chronically in my household. I consider myself very lucky, since I can begin studying for a vocabulary test 1st period, memorize 65 words in 40 minutes, then ace the test 2nd period. I can memorize pages of music in a week, do all my homework during my lunch period, and write a great essay in less than a half hour. All of this doesn't mean, I'm "smart", it just means that I learn faster than someone who can't do any of what I mentioned above. My ability to learn is measured by my IQ (Intelligence Quotient). A person's IQ doesn't determine how much they know, what their grades are, or what job they will have in the future. All it measures is how easy it is for any given person to learn. I know people who have IQ's that classify them as relative geniuses, and yet they're failing every class they're taking. The fact of the matter is that you can be the next Einstein, but if you don't apply yourself you'll get nowhere. Likewise, you can have a less than average IQ and score better on tests than any intellectually gifted kid in your grade. The only difference is that you might have a harder time learning the material that's on the test you took.

Here is where my problem begins. My mom has an average IQ, my dad's is slightly above average. Both remember laboring over their text books when they were in high school, and still coming out with only mediocre grades. My dad often tells me of times when he would study for hours on end for a big test, and come away with an 85. Nothing wrong with that, right? Well, as I mentioned previously, I can study the period before and get a grade in the high 90's. He doesn't understand how I can do this consistently, and often forces me to study for a longer amount of time than I'll ever need. He's measuring my abilities to his, and it's not fair that he isn't willing to admit his 14-year-old daughter might have hit the smart gene somehow. Do you have any idea what it's like to come home with a 98 on a unit test and have your parents eye you suspiciously, wondering if you were cheating, because they just can't accept the fact that you learn faster than they do? It's NOT fun, I'll tell you that much.

On the flip side, I have a friend Gabby who tries really hard to get good test grades, and still can't pull her average above a C, or C+. I almost feel awkward discussing grades around her, because I can pull off an A+ without nearly as much work as she puts in. Her problem? She has a dad that is so gifted he actually skipped the 8th grade, and now owns a dental insurance company. Woohoo for him, right? The only bad part about his success is that he wants his kids to do the exact same thing. Unfortunately, they just can't skip grades like he did. For an incredibly smart man, I think he's being pretty stupid by not seeing his children as individuals with their own strengths and weaknessess. While Gabby might see a B+ as a victory, he would see it as less than par, because he's measuring her successes against his own. The two are on different scales. They just don't compare. He was able to play sports and participate in the orchestra while still holding up his academics. He was lucky, most kids can't work fast enough to keep up with that kind of schedule, but he just can't accept that fact. The sad truth is that he's given up on his daughter, just because he can't understand the differences between them.

My dad is slowly but surely learning to accept the fact that school is pretty easy for me, compared to the time and effort put in by other kids my age. After meeting me, I have the parents of my friends and neighbors asking my dad why their kids can't be more like me, and what did he do to make me turn out like this? These sorts of comments make my dad feel like he's on cloud nine. They humiliate me. I would hate being compared to someone else in the way parents compare their children to me. The way I think and learn is different from the way most other kids do. I hope that there aren't any adults on this site who have made the mistake of holding their children to standards that are too high or too low for their own good. I don't compete with others for grades, seats in orchestras, or spots on softball teams. I compete with myself, and with my personal best. Though my parents may try, they can't relive their youth through me, because I'm a different person. Being the best I can be is all that matters in this head of mine; I won't let someone else's goals rule my life.

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On A Personal Note . . .

I would like to thank a few people who helped me in the making of this column:
-Gabby, for letting me use her as an example
-Alice, DB, and Rhy for giving me the idea
-Rob, for making me realize that I'm not the only smart kid who gets a lot of crap for being smart in our school's social structure

And on an extremely personal note I would just like to extend my thanks towards my two orchestra teachers Mr. W and Dr. P for taking time out of their everyday lives to help me prepare my viola solo this past month - teachers change and impact lives every day! This is my way of thanking them for all they've done for me. Thanks again guys, and . . . viola power!

Readers, raters, reviewers, I love you all! Remember to check out the rest of the articles in the T-Zine! See ya next month!

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