About Barefoot Bob

About Barefoot Bob

So, What about Bob? …Sounds like a movie, doesn’t it. Okay. I'm a middle aged man who was born and raised in a state called Iowa. In case you’ve never heard of Iowa, it’s that chunk of land that they mashed in between Minnesota and Missouri. Iowa is primarily an agricultural state. But don’t ask me about farming. All I know is that some "Green Acres" type people throw some seeds on the ground, spread some shit on the seeds, and the seeds turn into corn. Then the "Green Acres" type people sell the corn and use the money to get drunk all winter. I guess it works something like that.

I’m single and live alone with my adorable shih-tzu Tammy and my other pet, Hermie. I discovered Hermie when I was about five years old. I found out that Hermie loves to be petted, and when I pet him he gets real exited and I feel warm and fuzzy all over. Hermie loves to play games. His favorite game is hide and seek. He loves to find a dark, warm place to hide in. Then he wiggles all over inside it. He is so playful. He loves to act like he’s going to come out of hiding and then rushes back inside before you can catch him. For some reason, Hermie has a real fondness for women. He just jumps up for joy whenever a woman comes to visit me. He tries to stick his head out to see what’s going on. But sometimes the women visitors don’t want to play, and Hermie goes back in his little house and sulks. He is so spoiled. He thinks every woman is suppose to play with him. I don’t know where he got that idea.

I love to write and read, they are my second and third most favorite things to do. As far as my writing goes, I can’t decide if I want to be Jean Shepherd or Stephen King. I see the irony in nearly everything, so what I usually end up with is a kind of dark humor. I’ve written many short stories (one of them published) but much of what I’ve written isn’t in my computer. I don’t get along with technology and resisted buying a computer until recently. I finally gave in because it was getting too tough lugging those stone slabs around. I write what I feel, and often what I feel is kind of twisted. But if you untwist the story, and my thoughts, you may discover that there was even a somewhat rational reason for feeling and writing the way I do. I also love to write scripts. I’ve written a two act play and I’m currently working on a screen play. So if you go to a movie some night and are being bothered by the guy in the back row with his bare feet up on the chairs, throwing popcorn at the audience, it’s probably me trying to avert your attention from the movie with the rotten screen play.

That’s about all. I love visitors. Come and see me anytime. But if you’re a woman, be careful. Hermie has a habit of jumping up on women visitors. I’m trying to break him of the habit, but he’s just so stubborn.