Things My Cat Has Taught Me
Simon is a big black house cat who thinks he is a person. He perfers the company of people to cats. He's big, lazy, overweight, and scared of everything that makes a strange or abrupt noise. He has taught me many things some of which are listed below.
1. If it itches, scratch it.
2. If it’s dirty, wash it.
3. If you gotta heave something up, find a soft place like the new carpet or a bed. Someone will clean it up.
4. Odors are interesting so sniff everything.
5. Have fun and play with everything, including someone’s toe if it moves.
6. If you’re lonely, let someone know, even if it’s 2 AM.
7. If your food dish is empty, complain to someone, anyone and everyone.
8. If you see an empty lap, fill it.
9. Never permit an interloper in your territory.
10. Do not even recognize the word “No.”
11. If someone gets angry with you, purr.
12. If you get tossed out of bed, wait a few minutes and get back in, they’ll be asleep by then.
13. Be eccentric and aloof, you don’t want them to think they own you.
14. Never let other things interfere with important activities, like your nap.
15. It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.
16. Do not worry what other people (or cats) think.
17. Do not make the mistake of thinking you are on the same level as your master, you’re much better than that.
18. Scratching pads are for laying on, furniture is for scratching.
19. When it come to furniture, what’s theirs is actually mine.
20. Kitty beds are for decoration; sofas, chairs, beds, refrigerator tops, clothes dryers, closets and dressers are for sleeping.
21. Every vets should have to go through an annual exam like cats, including being tested for worms.
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