Without Him

Without Him

He looks like an old man
my mother said
as my father slept on the couch
his mouth open
arms twitching at his side.

He's so thin and pale
my mother said
as she rearranged his blanket
and gently removed
another clump of hair.

He needs to eat
my mother said
as she tried to entice him
with a plate of what used to be
his favorite food.

I'm not ready to lose him
my mother said
as she heated up his tea
and wiped away tears
before he could see them.

What will I do without him
my mother said
as she sorted through bills
absent-mindedly stroking his cat
and trying not to think of tomorrow.

I love him
my mother said
as she held his hand
and sat vigil at his bedside
remembering fifty three years.