Safe Haven?

"Safe Haven?"
(6/15/02 - 18 years old)

My safest haven
Causes me great pain.
Can you see:
         I have friends
                   who care
                   who are there
                   keeping me safe
                             --from me.
                   Helping me protect me.
         I receive warmth
         I receive hugs
         I receive support, encouragement,
                   L  O  V  E,
         just for being me.

But, to dwell in this safe place
is to enrage a fighting bull.
All he can see:
         I spend too much time
         conversing with crazies
         I'm addicted.
         There's other things to do.

I can do what is asked,
         but I'm left surrounded.
         Surrounded by hurt
                             by pain
                             by confusion
                             by criticism
         And left unprotected, uncared for.

But, stay in my safety and
         its taken away and
         I hear angry words and
         I hate who is me.

So, I am trapped
         With my safe haven
         in reach
         but littered with hurt, with hate.

And the ones who could
         H    E    L    P
would start the bull after me.