Lost and Found 1

He leaned back against the wall next to the door of the house he was painting, planting one boot firmly on it to brace himself, and lit a cigarette. With it dangling from his mouth in a “Marlboro Man” fashion; he snuck a glance toward the girl in the swing eating a sandwich. She stopped nibbling at this point and looked at him. He was floored! “She’s looking at me!” he exclaims silently. Taken aback, his foot slips. In complete discomposure now he drops his tea! His mouth drops open in disbelief and his cigarette falls to the floor mixing ashes and tobacco with sweet Georgia tea. He hears, “You wanna bite?” At that moment his eyes swept swiftly to hers. They were mesmerizing and two of the most beautiful astral blue eyes he had ever seen with a coy, cute and sexy smile to boot! Later; too shy to ask her directly the forty-two year old painter decided to ask the owners of the house what the girl’s name was and she being just as shy did the same to get his name. Unbeknownst to either, this was the forging of a sometimes tumultuous love story of a co-dependent named Keifer and an addict named Anna..

Two weeks flew by before the night they caught up with each other .again. There was no doubt to any and all that Keifer and Anna were the perfect couple. They quickly became the sweethearts of the bar scene. They lived it! They loved it! Whenever they walked into a bar or local hangout, an entourage of well wishers would whisper in approval or envy, “They’re so in love.” Sloshing home after many a night of friends buying them drinks Keifer and Anna literally passed out. The perfect couple!

Snapping bitterly at Anna Keifer yells, “Just what the Hell are you doing? It’s only eight-thirty in the morning!” “I just needed a little pick me up before work.” Anna protests begrudgingly. Keifer turns, eyes glaring, “Why, you outta pills again?! What’s happening to you? To us?! You swore when we met that you would never take drugs again! Here we are five months together and you’re at it again! It’s a losing battle. I’ve lost, YOU baby!”

Keifer and Anna’s relationship had quickly plummeted to the quagmires of co-dependency and addiction. He, now so consumed by mistrust and controlling and she, conceding to days spent figuring out ways to get more pills and hiding doctor’s bills. . Their whirlwind of accusations and deceit continued despite their deep love for one another. They had lost who they were and who they loved.

“Damn! Another phone call intercepted; another prescription I’ve found and another emergency room visit! I’ve tried, begged pleaded and prayed that you would get help! In two years you’ve gone to two A.A. meetings! You don’t wanna quit! I can’t think straight anymore! You’re killing me! You’re killing yourself!” Keifer bellows indignantly. Anna snaps back in defiance and yells obscenities back at him. She’s thinking, “Why do you have to ruin my high? Damn you!” Tempers heightened, Keifer hurls his glass of tea against the nearest wall. CRASH! Glass and tea shatter and splatter. A wall once canvassed with pictures of happier times now drools with remnants of anger and is etched with hostility. “You’ve got to go! Just pack up and get out!” Keifer yells. Anna protests, “You know I can’t leave! I don’t have anywhere to go! I love you! I don’t wanna go! I can’t live without you!” Gritting his teeth, Keifer blows into her again, “Yeh, I’ve heard it all before. I’ve gotta get outta here!” The vehement argument is too much. Keifer, still not realizing that he is as much a part of their problem as Anna; heads for town and a couple of beers. Tired of his accusations, condemnations and belittlements Anna is not to be outdone. She boils inside, “He doesn’t have a clue to what I’M going through! I’ll show him he’s no better than me!”

Still fuming, Anna struts into the bar she knows Keifer is at. Sure enough she spots him standing at the bar, leaning back and bracing himself with one boot up and against the bar wall; cigarette dangling from his mouth. The unique way he moved and stood; the cleft in his chin, his cute laugh. These all melted her inhibitions long ago. Rage, propelled by her addiction now darkened her heart. Instead of love she was feeling disgust! Anna struts up to Keifer pointing her finger in his face. “What the X/xX!” “Don’t come in here telling me what to do!”Keifer says retaliating. Anna whirls around and leaves him standing there furious! Of course being STUPID, Keifer runs out, gets in his truck and follows her! Anna’s calling the law to have him picked up. Vengeance is hers!

That fateful day was October 19. 2001. For 21/2 years, Keifer and Anna’s love had prevailed and Anna still continued to use. Her demon was a strong foe. Keifer’s only escape from imploding was to write. He wrote daily. Writing became his solace from the terrible reality. He thought he’d lost his Anna for good! In short it saved his sanity. He sought and found a local Al-Anon group and began attending regularly. The support and love he received from these virtual strangers was incredible. He quickly learned not to blame himself and to not place blame. His great discovery was that he didn’t have to be in control and couldn’t! He had begun his road to recovery and finding himself again. .

On November 4, 2001 Anna finally had enough. She made her decision to become clean and stay clean; again! Seventeen days later she lay sick and desperate once again on an emergency room table. Her insides were crawling; her heart beating out of her chest; only this time Anna wasn’t after drugs. She wasn’t staring at lonely walls, thinking of how to convince the doctor on duty that she was in pain. She was there with Keifer holding her hand! Ironically, it was November 4th, two years before that Keifer jumped up on stage at their favorite bar and publicly proposed to Anna. They had both professed their undying love for one another to the crowd that night. Now this night, there was no crowd, no cheers; only two lovers; husband and wife battling to find each other. .
... .. .
Seven months have past; somewhere! I don’t know where. My sweet Anna’s in the kitchen cooking supper. “Hey baby, supper’s done.” She’s leaning over me. She’s kissing me in that …way! I ask her if we have to eat right now. “Naa!, let’s go!” "Okay, I’m through then!" Her life string is her A.A meetings. My life string is my Al-Anon meetings. Anna fights her demon today and I fight mine as they say; one day at a time.. .

*Authors note: Ths story is true but the ending, well I leave as is because it is much better than the reality.
*Apr. 3, 2011 We divorced in 2002.and I am saddened soo much that just a few months ago she passed away still fighting her demons. A battle lost.

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