Me and my Paranoia

Always looking around. Always alert. Always on the edge.
That guy over there. Did he just looked longer at me than other people? The man with the sunglasses. He has a strange look on his face. And the two boys across the street. Are they following me?

This is me and my suspicious mind. My day exists in screening the environment on anything unusual. People in my neighbourhood, cars standing still for long times, and so on. It doesn’t matter where I am, with who I am and what I am doing. It’s always a part of my life.
For years now, I’m always aware of all the people around me. Thinking that they’re following me or just watching me. I just don’t trust others.

Since a few years I suddenly got the feeling everywhere I came, certain people where watching over me. On school, during the holidays in the hotel, on the sports club, in the train or just on the street. They don’t do anything. They just stare at me. When I arrive at a new place, the first thing I do, is looking which of the people has a more than usual interest for me. And big chance there is someone. Then the ‘game’ begins: watching if he watches, and if he watches, quickly watch something else.

Sometimes it makes me crazy and even sad. But it also made me stronger. I can handle all those creeps who are after me. They don’t get me. As long as they keep a little distance from me, they don’t hurt me.
But, I will never loose the feeling of being followed and watched. I learned how to live with it. I’ll just wait if something ever changes. And will they ever come closer? Or will they keep distance the rest of my life?

But don’t ask me what the reason for my suspicious ideas is. I’m not gonna tell. Because you might be a possible suspect…