Office Antics

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.

2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

3. I would not allow this man to breed.

4. When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

6. This man has delusions of adequacy.

7. He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.

8. This employee should go far - the sooner he starts the better!

9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

10. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.

11. Got a ful six-pack, but is missing the plastic thingy that holds it together.

12. A photographic memory but with the lense cover glued on.

13. A prime candiate for natural deselection.

14. Donated his brain to science before he was quite finished with it.

15. Fell out of his family tree.

16. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the trains aren't coming.

17. This man has two brains. One is lost and the other is out searching for it.

18. He's so dense, light bends around him.

19. Any dumber and he would have to be watered twice a week.

20. If you gave him a penny of his thoughts, you would get change back.

21. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

Credit for these goes to the men and women of the UK civil service who had nothing better to do one day - like running the country!