Crusing for a BOOZING!!!

A guide for Men on what Women Drink and how to approach them in the bar...

Beer
PersonalityA casual, low maintenance and down to earth person.
ApproachChannalge her to a game of pool.

Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Wodka mule etc.
Personality
Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated. Actually has absolutley no clue
Approach Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in!

Mixed drinks - no umbrellas
PersonalityMature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
ApproachIf she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Wine (bottled not 4 litre cask)
PersonalityConservative and classy, sophisticated.
ApproachTry and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Baileys
PersonalityOften annoying voice, bit of a tart.
ApproachStand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Shots (Vodka, Aftershock etc)
PersonalityHanging with male pals or looking to get drunk... and naked.
ApproachEasiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

Blender drinks with umbrella.
PersonalityFlaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the arse.
ApproachAvoid her unless you want to be her cabin boy.


A guide for Women on what Men Drink and how to approach them in the bar...

Cider He's probably underaged and wants to get laid.

Cheap Domestic Beer He's poor/student and wants to get laid.

Premium Local Beer He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Bitter He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Guinness The man is a manica and will get laid one way or another.

Wine He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

Vodka or Brandy Extremely horny hound. Would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

Port Think's he's sophisticated, secrelty likes men and wants to get laid.

Whisky He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Jack Daniels Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminie activites (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

Tequila Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, etc He's gay... Blatantly.

Disclaimer - comments are not intended to offend (well... not much) and are simply a few choice comments from what i have observed sitting in student bars (on rare occasions that i actually have time, and talking to friends.