Ed Gonzales & Beyond

I was just outside of Michigan City, Indiana when my idiot board went, "Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding. . ." for a few seconds, and the low-fuel sign came on with the first ding and remained on long beyond the last ding.

And I couldn't help wondering if I were being a ding-a-ling by stubbornly refusing to pull into the nearest gas station and forget about my original plan.

I had never been so low on fuel since buying my minivan less than a month before, but I just assumed that the warning came on when there was close to a gallon left in the tank. If this were so, my original plan would be carried out just fine.

Still, I wondered.

Even when I finally got to Michigan City, there was the problem of what seemed to be just about every light turning red on me.

As I neared a train track, I hoped that this WOULDN'T be a time of encountering a train--and this was after I'd forgotten part of the formula for getting to my destination and was going around in a circle for enough time that it left me feeling antsy.

Part of me was saying to forget my plans and just get gas somewhere--but more of me was saying to stick with Plan A.

So I did.

And I succeeded!

I pulled into the Shell station on the northeast corner of Franklin and US 20 and headed for the full-service island.

Would Ed even be there?

He was.

I could see his soft, dark, wavy hair through the glass.

Soon, he came out to fill AJ's GROOVY IGLOO, which hadn't been given any new nourishment since the outskirts of Windsor, Ontario.

The last time I'd been there, I'd been driving the red Pontiac Grand Prix I'd owned since the late summer of 1995. This is what Ed would have been expecting me to pull up in, so I knew he didn't know I'd returned until he saw me when he came around to the window.

He gave me a big smile of recognition and exclaimed, "You're driving a new minivan!"

I told him that I'd risked running out of gas just so that he would be the first one to fill my tank since I'd arrived back in the USA from Canada.

I also told him that the pictures I took of him the last time I was up his way turned out beautifully, and I had his copies (I always get two-for-one at Odell Photo ), something I reassured him of when he told me that he hoped I wasn't giving him my only copies.

So what's going on with this guy and me?

Is he someone who's going to make me forget all about Johnny Angel?

Hardly--because he's already married!

I must confess that, if he had been a single guy, Johnny Angel might have some competition--especially, since we're currently not in communication, and I'm feeling a little lonely.

It would be very easy to fall in love with Ed Gonzales, because he's just a very, Very, VERY special sort of person!

A part of me IS in love with Ed, in fact--but his wife, Lori, should have no worries that I'm going to take him away from her, because I wouldn't do something like that.

Besides, I understand and accept that part of me and handle it with prayer--which is what this story is about.

There's a special sort of connection between Ed and me, and I believe that there are many people who have it.

Sadly, some misinterpret this connection and make choices that they shouldn't make--such as having affairs, or even leaving their marriages.

If they only understood what was happening, this wouldn't happen as often as it does.

How can I explain it?

Perhaps, I should begin by answering the following question:

Do you believe in reincarnation?

Not in the traditional sense.

We live in an unending Universe, and I believe that God creates brand new people all of the time, because He'll never run out of space for us.

I believe that we have been here for an everlasting forever (no beginning) in some sort of all-inclusive form from which God designs each new soul (otherwords, individualizes portions of the all-inclusiveness that we've always been a part of).

Once we've been individualized, we're individuals, even though our earthly bodies are temporary ones.

Some people live for a long time in an earthly body, while others only live a short time.

I'm not sure about those who are stillborn or part of an abortion or miscarriage. These individuals MIGHT live more than one life.

There's a lot I don't even begin to understand. All I know is this: God's in charge, so turn your thoughts to Him when making decisions about life!

But, back to the subject of what draws certain people together in a special way--or what makes others feel as if they've lived before, or their friends wonder the same.

When I was in my late twenties, I dated a sweet man named Charlie.

If I believed in reincarnation, I would know for sure that he was Glenn Miller in another life, because he'd always had a special interest in aviation, the military, and Big Band music.

Thinking back on things, I'd even remembered them looking somewhat alike--though I never realized how much until just now when I decided to see if this was true or just my imagination!

So, how would I explain something like this, if I didn't believe in reincarnation?

It's because I believe in special gifts from those who have passed on.

Think about passing on and being asked, "If you had been given more time, what more would you do?"

This isn't something that happens instantly in a lot of cases.

For instance, take Abraham Lincoln.

He's been gone for over a century, but I believe that he put a lot of himself into one of my friends who was born in 1962.

Sometimes, this happens when the person has just been conceived. Other times, I believe it happens as a person grows and develops.

Sometimes, that person is given inspiration from only one or two former visitors to this realm. Other times, several souls put their gifts into a person. There are also cases where a soul will inspire several people in different ways.

So, each one of us is born--most of us with the dreams and hopes of various ones who have been this way before so that we might be inspired to carry on what they started in one way or another. Or carry on what was originally passed to them by someone else during their earthly stay.

There's a song called Some Enchanted Evening about the wonderful possibility about noticing a stranger from clear across a crowded room and that person turning out to be the one you end up spending the rest of you life with!

The song by Frank Sinatra called Strangers In The Night says about the same thing.

There will, likely, be many people you feel that kind of special connection with.

If everything else is leading to that, there's very little doubt that one of those people will be the one you end up saying, "I do!" to.

As for the others?

You're meant to be connected, too!

As long as you're still a single person and connecting with another single person, there should be nothing stopping you from thinking in terms of romance and wondering if that person will be the one you end up being with for so long as you both shall be in this realm!

Even then, go into this prayerfully and carefully. Don't try to make your relationship something that it isn't (e.g. getting married because "others" think you make such a wonderful couple, even though red flags are going up all over the place in one or both of your minds).

Just thank God that you've found another very special friend that shares this sort of bond with you!

It's likely that you contain, in part, something passed on to you by a person who was a special part of the life of part of that person you're connecting with.

Am I making sense to you? Hope so!

In short, we are individuals that contain parts of the past, present, and future, and the sooner we come to understand this, the more in-tune with God and His plans we can live our lives.

Some people find that special someone when they're young--such as it has been with my folks who were 24 and 29 when they got married and celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary this past February 8.

Others, like myself, haven't reached that place in life yet.

I personally believe I HAVE found that special someone, and that person is Johnny Angel, even though we seem to be farther apart rather than closer together at this time.

Whether he is or not, I know he's one of the people I've felt this special bonding with.

The man I refer to as "my first love" and have nicknamed "Conway" or "1977" when I talk about him online (because he looks like Conway Twitty did when he started wearing a curly-perm and I met him in 1977) is DEFINITELY one of those where we've shared a strong bond, even though the odds turned out to be greatly against us when it came to the issue of becoming husband and wife.

Then, there's the case of Ed--romantically off-limits from the get-go, yet we became very bonded to each other over a short period of time. Or Mark and myself--who have, as a whole, considered each other brother and sister, but the bonding has been just as special and beautiful as what I feel for Johnny Angel, or even that super-head-over-heels way I felt about Conway back in 1977.

So, how do you know--in the case of two single people--when the bond is one that will lead to marriage or one that will lead to a special and lasting friendship with embers that will never die, even when two people are no longer in contact?

Just keep your heart open and attune to God, and your purpose will be revealed to you in due time!

Oh yes! One more thing about Ed! If you're ever in Michigan City, Indiana, be sure to drop by Ed's Shell on the corner of Franklin and Hwy 20, because he's one very special person--almost like an angel!--and I don't believe you would have to have any sort of ultra-special connection to him to recognize that!!!