Vanity Sickness

It's 2 a.m.
My body's dying
Slowly letting go
Each minute, each day...

I get up
I turn, I toss
Awoken by
The falsified churn
Of my stomach

God knows I'm not sick
Or am I?
In the head?
It hurts to think

So I just do it
The pain comes before
The embarrassment
The shame
For my first action
My fake action
Not the natural

The burning comes
I can't stop it
It used to be I wouldn't
How could this happen?

My mind is pleased
It's done it's job for the night
But my body aches
So badly

A lonely shell
Of all I once was
Wasted on my
Vanity
My glory

I can't let it go
Can't slip up
I'll get behind
Go bad

Make it stop
I want to live
But it hurts so much

I want to try
But it's taken over
My body's not mine
It hates me

Maybe tomorrow
It's a chance to live
Awakening
But also
Another chance to die

It's 2 a.m.
My body's dying
I'm wide awake...
And waiting for hope