Jed and Odded

This is a funny ditty my buddy and I did, e-mailing each other back and forth. I'm a drafter with crazy deadlines. He's a computer specialist with crazy deadlines. A 'plotter' is a very large printer. It does not print. It plod/trots - thusly, the plotter. The poem is not great, but it sure was fun - and it made those deadlines managable. And now . . .

Jed and Odded


There once was a man name Jed,
Who loved to stand on his head.
And with a shirt of yellow
He says hello.

There once was a girl named Odded
Whose head simply exploded
With the garble and stress
And the ridiculous dress,
Odded returned the hello!

Oh, that poor Odded
With a head that's loaded
Can that ridiculous dress
Lead to way less stress?

For bosses a-crying
And birds a-flying
Taking work home
Does not let Odded roam.

Hmph! What of the doofy Jed
Standing on his goofy head?
For what kind of man
Would hold a frying pan
High up in the air,
Hanging by toe hair?

The dress added to the stress
When Odded ran over Bess looking for less.
Less what? Jed asked, feeling something amiss.
Less stress, Odded adressed.
The stress Bess left when dissing
The stress-bent, biffing-lent plotter.

The plitter, platter plotter
Went biffer, beffering down the hollar
Leaving Odded to run, tripping along with the collar.
Bess' stress went quite unfelt
When wam, bam-lamming Odded in the head.

See, now, how the dress
Relieved no stress?

Oog-ga-la la-la-la
Jed felt he had to holler
For hanging by his toe
He was feeling kinda low.

But trip he couldn't do
While sipping his Mountain Dew
And thinking of that plotter,
It only made him hotter.

So, on that frying pan
He fried green eggs and ham
Surely that's the best
For relieving all that stress.

"Darn and blast it, man,
I do not like green eggs and ham,"
Odded loudly said
To a now cowering Jed.

"My stress is very high,"
Odded said with a sigh.
"Lets sit up on a hill."
And there you'll find them still.

I think our friend Jed
Is whacked out in the head
Maybe he should've fried Spam
Instead of green eggs and ham.

But up on that hill
There's a big ole whiskey still
That should help the stress
And make it so much less!

Whoo-hoop! Hooray!
For saving the day!
Odded drinks her whiskey.
*giggle* Te-hee!

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