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MUMBAI- AN ENJOYMENT GUIDE FOR WESTERNERS The Western traveller to Mumbai mostly arrives in the months of November-March; more likely, he/she comes with a friend/mate/family, and has about 4-5 days in which to " see " this metropolitan city. Mumbai is a puzzle wrapped in an enigma even to its own denizens, let alone outsiders. In such circumstances, it is but natural for a Westerner to : a) consult his/her agent b) buy guide books c) do some basic research on the net and d) pray that Lady Luck smiles all the way. In an attempt to demystify Mumbai, the Lonely Planet India Guide devotes more than a handful of pages, besides two pages full of color pictures, 3-4 boxes of info, and what have you. I have read it, and for the most part, it is authentic, AND has a good feel about it. What LP cannot tell you is how to really ENJOY the city. And, I am about to do that.  *** The average Mumbai guide concentrates only on South Mumbai, and Greater Mumbai gets a step-motherly treatment, because there is nothing of enduring value there. Most of the suburbs are full of residences, shopping areas and restaurants. So, if these things appeal to you, by all means, go and visit the suburbs. However Mumbai's heritage, art and culture, as well as its narrow by-lanes, flea markets and other attractions like the Gateway of India, the Rajabai Tower, the Prince of Wales Museum, the Jehangir Art Gallery and the National Gallery of Modern Art (to name a few) are all in South Mumbai. The best time to see the bazaars and flea markets is between 12 noon and 3.00 p.m. The traders arrive late, usually after 11 a.m. It takes them another 15-20 minutes to set up shop. If you intend to buy things, carry cash, as cards will not be accepted. Seeing a Westerner makes traders think they will make a killing selling one a 10 rupee item for, say, a 100 rupees. It is best to start bargaining at 20 rupees. Go up slowly by 5 rs. each time, and the item will be likely yours for under Rs. 40! You have still spent around Rs. 30 more, but have saved 60! Bargaining is an art at which Indians can spend hours. To learn this art, one has to inculcate patience, guile and cunningness, and use these effectively. Although big shops have fixed prices, as do restaurants, cinema, etc., it is always possible to bring down the price even in modest shops, and to bring it down by almost 60-65% in hawkers' areas. The most irritating thing for a tourist is for natives to continuously stare at him/her - and this is one of the most beloved pre-occupations of an average street-side Indian. If you happen to be a Westerner, and a young woman at that, then you are sure to attract men like ants to sugar! The best way to downsize their ego is to aggressively approach one of these Romeos, and to ask him a completely off-putting, stupid question. Examples include: -Excuse me, which way is the Police station? -Er, what is the time? -Umm, which bus goes to Gateway of India? Ask such questions, but do not ask any follow-up questions, for then, he will think you actually want to talk with him, and then God alone can save you from his monologue, his oh-so-boring detailed advice, and offers to "show you the way"! *** The best guides exhort one to avoid eating food at roadsides, and yet, the best flavors are often found right there! Just behind the Taj Mahal Hotel is found BADE MIYAN, a fast food joint to shame the food of a 5 star restaurant.It serves up the best lamb and chicken steaks,kebabs and grilled items at throwaway prices. If you prefer not to expose your obvious non-ethnic status, you can stay in the car, and they will deliver the goods to you inside the car as well. Another food surprise is the BHEL-PURI PLAZAon the sands of CHOWPATTY beach. You will surely enjoy the tangy bhel, pani-puri and sev-puri, followed by the punjabi Kulfi ice-cream and finally, the paan- a delightful concoction of betel-nut leaves, catechu, lime,areca-nut, coconut, saunf,rose-petals melded in jaggery and camphor crystals. The paan, in short, will take your breath away! Another roadside delight are the small PANI-PURI VENDORS ! These are veritable delicacies. The puri is absolutely delightful, and is filled with chick-peas or kidney beans, dipped in spicy water, and served on a leaf, which is rolled up to resemble a small bowl. Sweet, tamarind and jaggery based chutney is also served up to enhance the overall taste. One final recommendation. Just opposite the Victoria Terminus Railway station (now renamed the "Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus"), you will find a stall named CANON which specialises in pav-bhaji, an item that consists of a mixed vegetable gravy with a generous dollop of butter; it must be had with Indian bread. The dish looks as red as chilli, but the taste is, thankfully, not as pungent as it seems to appear to be.They also serve a spring onion, a banana, and diced onions as accompaniment. All this comes for just Rs. 25/=! *** Let me now go on to the subject of getting around in the city. There are road-side map-sellers in and around the central Fort area, and they have pamphlets costing Rs.5/= to elaborate locale(sic) books costing a 100 rupees. Most maps are out of scale, and include advertiser's messages and distortions, but they are still quite helpful. You already have your LP or some such guide to assist you! Ask shop-keepers, who will most kindly guide you. Keep a railways time table in your room, as also the routes of important BEST buses(the metropolitan bus service with over 400 routes in the whole of Mumbai) and taxi tariff cards. This info will be definitely handy. Do a little " home-work" before venturing outside your hotel room/guest house. Here are some suggestions for an interesting day. I assume that you have already taken the guided tour on Day 1, and are planning to do serious shopping on Day 3 or 4. The following is the itinerary for the days in between. Wake up at around 5:00 a.m., and take a car/cab to Sassoon Dock. Witness the auction of the fishes and other sea creatures that starts here at 4:00 a.m. It is one of the most exciting things you can witness. Go back to the hotel, bathe, swim, take breakfast, etc, and then leave at 8:00 to reach Nariman Point.Enjoy the gentle morning, sip coconut water, run or jog if you wish (it is advisable to go in running suits and jogging shoes), and take a stroll right up to the other end of the promenade on the sands of Chowpatty. Here, you may sit on the sands till 9:30. After this it is too hot. Do come back here in the late evening if you should desire to get an oil-massage from one of the maalishwallahs. From here, take a cab to Hanging Gardens and the Kamala Nehru Park. Beautiful Gardens, these. The latter is well-known for the OLD WOMAN'S SHOE, constructed in the manner described in the famous Nursery Rhyme of the Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe. Kamala Nehru Park has been erected on giant water-reservoir which stores water that is supplied to South Mumbai. So are the Hanging Gardens. Both these are beautifully landscaped. One can see the entire Bay of Chowpatty and Marine Drive from the vantage point next to the Old Woman's Shoe. It is a breath-taking sight. By now, it is lunch time.There are over 500 restaurants imn Mumbai, and you can go anyplace, but by far, the nice ones which are on my short list are: Trishna Mahesh Lunch Home Gajalee Goa-Portuguesa Chop-sticks Gaylord Revival Cream-Centre Indian Summer Rajdhani Thacker's Jewel of India In addition, there are excellent 24-hour coffee shops in most five-star hotels. Bombay/Mumbai also has several night-spots, like pubs and bars, but not many foreigners are comfortable with these; a few notable ones include FIRE AND ICE at Worli, and RAZZBERRY RHINOCEROS at Santacruz. On the other hand, visit Leopold Cafe and Cafe Mondegar, both near Regal Cinema at the Gateway of India.These two have mixed menus, reasonable prices,running juke-boxes, dancing, light drinks like root-beer, etc. and many tourists. After lunch, it is time to go and see a HINDI MOVIE. Believe me, if you haven't seen a movie in a theatre, you haven't seen anything! You should probably ask someone to accompany you if you are a single female, otherwise, no problem. There are many movie theatres in Mumbai, esp. around postal codes 400 004 and 400 007. Any movie will do. The song and dance sequences in the pre-intermission and the vendetta and fight sequences in the post-intermission brackets will wow and amaze you no end. There is absolutely nothing like it in the West! During the intermission, you should try PUNJABI SAMOSAS, a trianguar vegetable-stuffed snack that is the staple food of all Mumbai movie-goers. It is available at prices varying between Rs. 8 to Rs. 15 for a pair in the foyers of the movie theatres. A coke or a pepsi with it is ideal intermission fare, unless you like to have ice-cream or espresso coffee(both of which are also usually available). It is now nearly 6.00 p.m., and you may either go to have that oil-massage at Chowpatty( for males only), or you may decide to take a stroll at one of the places mentioned above... e.g. the sea-promenade at Nariman Point or the Hanging Gardens; another alternative is to go back to the hotel and visit the sauna or the gym for some serious work-out. For dinner, it is advisable to either have it in a pub, if crowds and drinks are your poison, or go out to more stately restaurants from among the list mentioned above for a leisurely repast. Room-service is boring, believe me. To experience ethnic food that is served on a plate by Rajasthani waiters, visit GOLDEN THALI RESTAURANT opp. Charni Road Railway Station. For a village-like ambience in an air-conditioned surrounding, go to MELA at Worli. If you would like to visit celebrity restaurants, there is TENDULKAR'S near the Gateway of India, or NELSON WANG'S CHINA GARDEN at Haji Ali.(It is located inside CROSSROADS, the only shopping mall in south Mumbai.) Thus ends a perfect day in Mumbai! **** COMMUTING...SOME MORE TIPS The unwary visitor to Mumbai faces the biggest shock of his/her life when he/she espies the gigantic crowds everywhere! Mumbai has a population of nearly 18,000,000! So you can well imagine how many people will be fighting for space in buses, taxis and trains! For the affording individual, there are plenty of options such as rent-a-car, air-conditioned buses, air-conditioned private taxis and air-conditioned blue and silver regular taxis. However, if you are looking for some adventure, and something a little exciting, do travel by train from one end of Mumbai to another....the best would be from Churchgate to Borivali. This journey is best taken in the morning, when the unmanageable standing-room only crowds are travelling in the opposite direction. So, at least there is place to sit when you board the train. Try and catch a window-seat, facing the direction of the train, and sit on the WEST side, so that the heat of the sun is NOT upon you. Carry some water, and a few dry snacks like chips or groundnut, and best look busy by listening to some music on ear-phones. Ignore the neighbours, who will, by and large, look at you for a few seconds (probably feeling bemused at the traveller actually having the nerve to travel by a local train!)- and then sit facing in front and mind his own business. For ladies, there are special compartments; and for the price of a few dollars, you can choose to travel by Ist class, with the executive type of travellers. The choice is yours! The sights and sounds of this one and a half hour journey are to be seen and experienced first hand! From wailing babies in arms to hawkers plying their ware; from singers with harmoniums to old gentlemen sleeping with their heads on the window panes; from chatting teenagers to housewives catching up on their magazine reading; from card-playing groups to sullen men, minding their own business, and frequently talking into their mobile phones; from destitute women with their entire worldly possessions on their shoulder in cloth bags, to perfectly attired sauve businesswomen pushing their noses up at the destitutes; from posters advertising " discreet abortion" to posters advertising " confidential assured remedy for impotence"; the vista is breathlessly vast and fantastically interesting. You've GOT to do this when you visit Mumbai. One final word. Near Mumbai are the Elephanta Islands, which you MUST go to see. You must go by boat. Boats leave every 30-40 minutes from the Gateway of India. Reach the Gateway by 6.30, and you will be at Elephanta before 8.00 a.m. Take your breakfast and lunch with you and enjoy there. There are beautiful caves, and the place itself is also very sylvan, quiet and lovely. Return after lunch by 4.00 p.m., if you have a whole day, or by 2.00 p.m., if you have something else planned for the evening. ***************
© Copyright 2002 Dr Taher Wishes Happy 2012! (UN: drtaher at Writing.Com).
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