The 12 Places Of Employment

Written for Wannabe 's 12 Days Of Christmas Contest. Come on over and join the fun!!!



At my first place of employment, my employer gave to me
A raise in my salary.

At my second place of employment, my employer gave to me
Dinner for two
And a raise in my salary.

At my third place of employment, my employer gave to me
Three leering looks,
Dinner for two,
And a raise in my salary.

At my fourth place of employment, my employer gave to me
Four nights in Paris,
Three leering looks,
Dinner for two,
And a raise in my salary.

At my fifth place of employment, my employer gave to me

FIVE OVEN BUNS!!!!!!

Four nights in Paris,
Three leering looks,
Dinner for two,
And a raise in my salary.

At my sixth place of employment, my employer gave to me
Six "You are WHAT!?!!!!!"s. . .

FIVE OVEN BUNS!!!!!!

Four nights in Paris,
Three leering looks,
Dinner for two,
And a raise in my salary.

At my seventh place of employment, my employer gave to me
Seven "~!@#$%^&*!!! You did it on purpose to trap me!"s,
Six "You are WHAT!?!!!!!"s. . .

FIVE OVEN BUNS!!!!!!

Four nights in Paris,
Three leering looks,
Dinner for two,
And a raise in my salary.

At my eighth place of employment, my employer gave to me
Eight "The little SOBs don't look a thing like me!"s,
Seven "~!@#$%^&*!!! You did it on purpose to trap me!"s,
Six "You are WHAT!?!!!!!"s. . .

FIVE OVEN BUNS!!!!!!

Four nights in Paris,
Three leering looks,
Dinner for two,
And a raise in my salary.

At my ninth place of employment, my employer gave to me
Nine "You can't prove they're mine!"s,
Eight "The little SOBs don't look a thing like me!"s,
Seven "~!@#$%^&*!!! You did it on purpose to trap me!"s,
Six "You are WHAT!?!!!!!"s. . .

FIVE OVEN BUNS!!!!!!

Four nights in Paris,
Three leering looks,
Dinner for two,
And a raise in my salary.

At my tenth place of employment, my employer gave to me
Ten "~!@#$%^&* paternity tests!"s,
Nine "You can't prove they're mine!"s,
Eight "The little SOBs don't look a thing like me!"s,
Seven "~!@#$%^&*!!! You did it on purpose to trap me!"s,
Six "You are WHAT!?!!!!!"s. . .

FIVE OVEN BUNS!!!!!!

Four nights in Paris,
Three leering looks,
Dinner for two,
And a raise in my salary.

At my eleventh place of employment, my employer gave to me
Eleven "If my wife finds out, I'll be singing first soprano!"s,
Ten "~!@#$%^&* paternity tests!"s,
Nine "You can't prove they're mine!"s,
Eight "The little SOBs don't look a thing like me!"s,
Seven "~!@#$%^&*!!! You did it on purpose to trap me!"s,
Six "You are WHAT!?!!!!!"s. . .

FIVE OVEN BUNS!!!!!!

Four nights in Paris,
Three leering looks,
Dinner for two,
And a raise in my salary.

At my twelfth place of employment, my employer gave to me
Twelve-million in hush-money,
Eleven "If my wife finds out, I'll be singing first soprano!"s,
Ten "~!@#$%^&* paternity tests!"s,
Nine "You can't prove they're mine!"s,
Eight "The little SOBs don't look a thing like me!"s,
Seven "~!@#$%^&*!!! You did it on purpose to trap me!"s,
Six "You are WHAT!?!!!!!"s. . .

FIVE OVEN BUNS!!!!!!

Four nights in Paris,
Three leering looks,
Dinner for two,
And a raise in my salary.
(Obviously, I no longer really "need" the last--
but I never turn down money, honey!)