Love Songs

I'm not a victim
I haven't had my heart broken
I don't cry in my pillow
wondering how he could not love me anymore
I don't eat chocolate
and sit in my pajamas
crying over a sad love song
because I know what it feels like

And yet here I am
tears in my eyes
old Valentine's chocolate nearby
and listening to a love song
wondering why it doesn't fit my situation
wondering why I don't have pity from others

The fact is that I do have a love
he loves me
he would hold me in his arms while I cry
and brush my tears away
he is real, he is near
so why do I cry?

The love isn't flowing both ways
He would give me the world if I asked
but all i can think of to ask
is that he no longer love me
I feel guilty
I feel selfish
I feel like I should burn in hell
for what I need to do

I'm going to break his heart
I'm going to make him cry
knowingly
purposely
I'm going to shut out his love
all because I can't look at him
and feel the same way

And as I sit here
milk chocolate in hand
listening to the love songs
flow out the speakers
all I can wonder is
where are the songs for me?