Dear Mom

Dear Mom,
Help!!!! I think you made a mistake in letting this man and this big hairy thing be my adopted parents!

Actually mom that was only my initial thought, MOO for President and his energetic Golden Retriever which is named "Jealous Jake" are very good to me. I get the best generic cat food that $2.00 dollars can buy, I get to drink out of the same bowl as the dog(which I'm ashamed to say, is my chioce), and I sometimes share the lap of The Milkman with Jake.

He rubs my body when I lay next to him. He really knows how to make a kitten purr. He gives me cat treats whenever he comes back in from a walk...sometimes he forgets though. He makes me let him take pictures of him, of course I know he is lying when he tells me that I'm going to be a star. He doesn't yell or scream at me for running through the house like a NASCAR driver. And I get to sample some of his cow's milk.

I don't think the Milkman knows this but Jake, Bessie and I have solved a major flower killing case in Florida a few weeks ago. Mom did you know that this villian looked like you until Bessie removed one of the two masks this person wore?

I get to do other fun things with Jake when The Milkman is gone. Just the other day I knocked off a couple of bags of his counter and Jake and I strewn the contents throughout his apartment. It was so much fun.

Well mom I just thought I would let you know that I was doing great and that I'm living up to all the things that you taught me.

I'll write again soon,

Love,
Novella