Awake

This was written for "Invalid Item"   by A Guest Visitor and all lyrics are in italics and come from the song, The End - by Greenwheel

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Is anyone else awake?
Deaf ears on these words must fall

She sat up in the bed, staring out into the darkness in front of her. Outside she listened for the sound of cars going past, of feet upon the sidewalk. But for once the city outside of her bedroom seemed to be still. Her eyes flickered across the room to the digital clock. 1:43 am. She should be asleep like everyone else; she should be resting peacefully in her warm bed, snuggled beneath the covers.

This thought would be one to bring a smile to the face of most people, but instead she stayed up and staring across into the space. She knew she wouldn't be able to drift off to sleep with a light smile on her face, not with him in the bed.

Dodging friendly fire
Marksmanship inspires
The end that is never the end

She turned her head to look at him. His form was barely outlined by the thin stream of light coming from the bedroom window. She stared for a moment, watching his chest rise up and down in the stead rhythm of his sleep. She remembered when she used to lay there beside him, unable to suppress a grin as she watched that chest rise up and down, knowing that she loved him...and knowing that he loved her in return.

At least that is what she thought she knew. Since that time she hasn't been able to find peace in the waking hours around him. She constantly seems to have to watch her back, to keep her thoughts to herself and her eyes to his expression on his face. She could never quite know when he would spout off, sending projectile words that stung as they hit, battered her from the inside out.

There's no difference between foe or friend
blanks in the chamber they'd have you believe
faces so sober trusting souls deceived

She began to realize that she could only show her love for him when he was showing his love for her. When he wasn't showing that love she had to keep her thoughts suppressed. Had to just sit and wait for the time when he would smile upon her and she could run to his open arms. They were few and far between but eventually he would brighten and it would be heaven for her. Pure heaven.

Lifeless children, still promises they feel
bullets softer now, still we bleed

Her thoughts halted for a moment and brought her back to the darkness, back to the image of him and his chest still rising and falling in the quiet night. She looked down and gave her stomach a small pat. They hadn't been married for very long and still she could feel her inner yearning for a bulge to begin to grow in her abdomen, each day the yearning growing stronger and each day it seemed that he pushed her farther away.

She need only to wait though, soon enough he would come around with open arms. Soon she would have the chance, and she could express her thoughts to him. He would love the idea, she was certain of that. So long as she told him when he loved her, he would love the idea.

Dodging friendly fire
Marksmanship inspires
The end that is never the end

Her eyes left that image of her husband and her mind traveled back, earlier that very day. She remembered with a pain just how easily he had used the words to tear under her skin and hit her just where it hurt. It was about the job again of course, she simply wasn't making enough money. But she couldn't leave it; she loved working with the children.

"But, your work is bringing in enough for now, plus it would be so hard to find another job..." She had said, and she remembered the arrows in his eyes, pointed for her heart.

"So, you are just going to live off my salary are you?" He said, the ice in his voice stinging like hail. Right on target.

"No..."

There's no difference between foe or friend
blanks in the chamber they'd have you believe
faces so sober trusting souls deceived

She held her breath as her husband stirred and rolled on his side. She realized that she had said the last word aloud, just enough to cause her husband to be disturbed. He was always such a light sleeper. She never could move much in the night.

She sat motionless for a moment, not even daring to let herself think. She didn't what to know what would happen if he awoke and found her sitting up like that.

The Megaphone speaks still pulses race and scream
things will be quiet soon

After a few moments she felt her heart rate slow. He seemed to be back to his sleep. She couldn't help but let out a little sigh of relief and closed her eyes.

When she opened her eyes, she couldn't help but gasp. "Oh!" She cried, as she looked into his open eyes.

He turned toward her, eyebrows crinkled inward. This was not a look of happiness. His eyes were still clouded with sleep, but there was still anger there.

"What are you doing?" He asked with a hiss, keeping his voice low but she knew that wouldn't last for long.

"Uh...well, I just awoke to get a glass of water..." She stammered and then looked into his eyes. He didn't believe her for a second.

"Are you trying to make me mad? I need to sleep, and not have you waking me all the time." He growled and she closed her eyes, feeling the words sting against her heart.

"No..."

The end that is never the end
There's no difference between foe or friend

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He shouted and without hesitation to his order she opened her eyes to stare into his. The pools of gray were familiar to her, even in the dim light. But something she remembered from deep within was not there. The softness had long since left and now the gray was just leaden, swirling within him.

But they are still the same eyes, she knew. They were still connected to the same person; he was still the same man that she fell in love with, no matter what the eyes told her.

blanks in the chamber they'd have you believe
faces so sober trusting souls deceived.

"I'm sorry." She murmured as she looked into his eyes. She really hadn't meant to wake him. She shouldn't have been so selfish as to be up when he was trying to sleep. He stared at her for a moment longer before letting out a long heaving sigh.

"Just let me sleep." He said before rolling so that his back was to her. She stayed sitting up for only a fraction of a second longer before she lay down, staring through the darkness to the ceiling.

Her heart held on desperately to the thought that her husband still loved her, and that she still loved him. But as she sat in the dark, her face told the story of sadness and her soul gripping on to the wisps of a love, that she refused to accept just weren't there.

And as her husband returned to his sleeping state and she stared above, not daring to move, she heard the sound of a car rolling down the street outside and she finally closed her eyes.

She knew that she wasn't the only one awake in the city.