Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who is the greatest bovine of them all?
”Well Bovine Bessie 
, she’s a cutie,
But covertcow has a certain beauty….
I cannot say which bovine’s best
So send these two upon a quest,
Whoever completes these tasks three
Shall go down in history
As the bovine to rule then all,
Both man and beast, great and small.
First rescue a princess from a tower,
Avoiding her guardian’s evil power.
Second, find the muses three,
Cast out by the gods of bad poetry.
Your final task is by far the worst,
To tell this tale in poetic verse.
Let’s see which bovine is the better writer,
Detective, negotiator and fighter.
For only then shall we know,
Who is truly “Best in show”.
So the two set out upon their task,
The greatest bovine to unmask,
Over hill and dale they travelled far,
They really should have hired a car.
Until at last they found the tower
Where the Demon Squirrel’s evil power
Had imprisoned the princess fair,
High up in his wicked lair.
To others the tower would be called a tree
But the clever bovines were able to see,
Her helpless form trapped way up high,
Imprisoned against the very sky.
Now hooves aren’t designed to climb
But they would foil this evil crime.
covertcow offered to provide distraction
While
Bovine Bessie took action.
So
covertcow built a campfire
And lured the Demon Squirrel to the pyre
To chitter on quotes and world domination,
While
Bovine Bessie brought salvation
In the form of a step ladder
And before the squirrel got any madder
The bovines and princess quickly escaped,
The proof of their success videotaped.
But who could say which bovine won?
They worked together to get it done!
Task two and three would have to tell
Which bovine was the most swell.
To
pita’s house they journeyed on
To find the muses stolen from
The poor writers in the Anti-Slam,
Forced to write nothing but a sham.
Defiling milk in putrid verse,
This crime was twisted and perverse!
But the missing muses could not be found
Although they search all around.
So to the slam itself they dared to go,
Braving the dandruff falling like snow.
With
Bovine Bessie ’s detective skills
They quickly found it was evil Bill’s
Wicked plan to win each round
By hiding muses where they’d never be found.
But
W.D. Wilcox© ¿ Φ 
would not get away
With this evil plan, he’d had his day.
Bovine Bessie had many charms,
Amongst them an expertise at searching farms,
And there were the muses hidden away
Behind a fresh stacked pile of hay.
Only a bovine would have known their smell
And eaten half the hay as well.
But evil
W.D. Wilcox© ¿ Φ would not be foiled,
He’d had the barn freshly oiled
And with one match it went up in smoke,
This was far more serious than a simple joke.
Luckily one bovine had hooves of fire
And saved poor
Bovine Bessie from the dire
Terror caused by Wild Bill,
Just thinking of it makes us ill.
covertcow lead
Bovine Bessie and the muses through the flames
And saved them from Bill's evil games.
Together once more they’d won
And the second task was done.
So the judges awaited for task three
To see which bovine would go down in history,
As both typed and edited and worked all night
To tell their story just right.
The mirror was the judge once more
Of which was perfect, which was poor.
Until at last the decision was made
On who would win the accolade.
”Come forth and hear the mirror’s decree
That both these bovines should go down in history.
Neither is better and neither worse,
The perfect pair, each so diverse,
Their writing better than any man’s,
Proves hooves are better than mere hands.
So let us all rejoice this pair:
The beautiful bovines, beyond compare!"
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