Sphincter Jinxer

         Sphincter Jinxer

Sometimes I feel like I'm in gas-attack mode,
That my ass is in hell and it's gonna explode.
It might be caused by something saucy I ate,
Naturally flatulent frijoles on my plate.

Kin and friends think these farts fantastic fun
In observing the emissions of my bombastic bum.
Now with my every swollen combustion sensation,
Gas-loving sickos give me a standing ovation.

Passionately they rave and riot, ready to remind me
And cheer on any overblown jetstream from behind me.
Some argue and others fight, and take bets and quibble
Seeing how long before I'll blast out a fudgie dribble.

Getting tired of my ass being the butt of every joke
As I whip out whoppers 'til my popper starts to smoke,
So I shine a hazy moon, yes my wind-breaking caboose,
Aimed carefully at all you fuckers, then I cut loose.