Lost

They say
You never realize how much you love someone
Until they're gone;
How much you need someone
Until they're not there;
How much you treasure someone
Until they've moved on;
I never really believed all that;
In fact, I didn't ever really care.

I sit by the window and think
Of everything you've done for me,
And I realize I can never repay you,
No matter how hard I try.
I sit underneath your tree and think
Of how many times you saved me,
From others, from myself—
I could never do what I have done without you.

But now that you're gone, I'm completely lost.
My mind is reeling, my feelings in chaos.
To lose one you love is a terrible thing--
But to lose a parent is even worse.

It's been nine years since the day you left me,
But still it seems like yesterday.
You loved me as your own since the day you met me,
Yet when I needed you most, God took you away.

From a daughter to her father, I want you to know
All the things I never told you before.
And though I know it didn't always show,
I love you—no one could love you more.

You saved my happiness, my faith, my life;
Both you and your beloved wife.
Now you're gone, it's just Mom and me,
But things aren't as bad as they could be.

So this to you is my final goodbye,
And as I kneel by your grave I start to cry.
I don't think I'll ever know why;
Instead, I can only hope and try.
Inside my heart is an empty hole
Sometimes I feel like I'm losing control.
I want you to know how much I miss you
And I want you to know how much I love you
All I want is to make you proud.

Goodbye, Dad. Parting is hard,
But our reunion will be sweet.