Goodbye

I wrote this poem about 5 years ago and have previously only shown it to one person. You could call it a Baptism of Fire, I guess, sharing it with writing.com. I dedicate this to anyone who has ever suffered abuse at the hands of someone whom they trusted.

Goodbye

I did not cry
when they told me
you had passed away.
Everyone around me was
so busy with the funeral arrangements,
stunned by your sudden death,
that they became insensitive
to my silence
which they interpreted as grief.
They spoke of you all the time.
‘He was such a great father, and
the kids, well…
they couldn’t have had a
better grandfather.’
I cringed and bit my lip with frustration,
knowing that no one would
ever know the truth.
But I did not cry.

When your coffin
was lowered into the frozen January ground
I cried.
Not with sorrow or self-pity
but with
relief
that it was all over.

But I was very young then.
I was not to know
that it would never be over.
For now I will never have the chance
to make you
look
into my eyes and
see
the pain you caused me.
And therefore I can never say
goodbye.