About Gegit

I met Gegit on a ship almost two years ago. She was working in the laundry and cleaning rooms.
She was very shy and withdrawn, and it took me a long time to befriend her.
I would go out of my way to take smoke breaks and catch up to her whenever I could. Slowly we began talking on a regular basis.
I learned that she has two little girls, and she was spending a good deal of money calling them every night on the ship's satellite phone. Since we had access to email for free, I decided to give her a computer from my boxes of junk in the garage. That way her girls would have a computer to email her with.
Gegit never finished high school, in fact she never even made it to high school, but she is a quick learner. By the end of the first hour of learning about the computer (she had never owned one, and rarely if ever used one), she had figured out how to set it up and how to use Microsoft Word, among other things.
The very first thing she did was write a letter.

"Hi, first of all I would like thank you for everything I do not know where I would be if I did not have you to talk to. You have done more for me than my family or anybody else in my life .thank you Ben. Some times I feel like the whole world is crashing in on me and I have nowhere to run .or to hide. you have been here for me thank you .is there any thing you would ask of me? I don’t have much all you have to do is ask. I have a plan when I get home it’s all I have .The girls will be happy about your gift to them. And I THANK YOU!!!!! I have done the windows 98 twice. But I couldn’t get the STUPID C D player to work.Your friend always Gegit"

(The CD player was my fault, I forgot to install the cable from the drive to the sound card; the 'Windows 98' was the "learning Win98 Tour").

She also wrote the note by hand, to make sure I'd get it.

I worked on the rig with Gegit for several more months. We began to really trust eachother. Gegit talked about her home life a little bit, but she never really opened up. I was able to talk to her more and she really listened. I will never forget the day when she learned her grandmother was ill (she did recover). While I never learned the nature of the illness, I know that her grandmother helped raise her.
Wiping away Gegit's tears and holding her to my shoulder, I gave her my handkerchief and she has it still.
I just can't describe the feeling of holding her. I felt a warmth, a strength, a belonging I hadn't felt in a long time, if at all.
I think the best word is friendship, or love. I am wary of using the word love, it is a very misused and misunderstood word. I told Gegit I love her and I fear that may have scared her; to her love is the attention of a string of men who have hurt her badly.
Over the months we worked together, I learned that Gegit is an extremely caring girl, and anyone who can get past the barriers she puts up around herself will find a real friend. She is fiercely loyal to her friends, and I hate seeing her taken advantage of for that. She will do anything to help them, even if they've hurt her.
She is caring, sweet and a bit naieve.
She can also be frustratingly stubborn and can be mulish at times, and she seems to have a low opinion of herself. Indeed, at times she seems to be somewhat self-destructive.
Gegit left the rig in February of 2002; she was laid off. I cried, it was then that I realized how important a part of my life she was. I had never told her how I felt about her. It was like a blow, and every day I noted her absence. The rooms never sparkled, the odd corners never got cleaned. I missed her smile, her laugh, the time spent talking and sitting and having a cigarette looking out over the open ocean.
Gegit went home and took a job at a strip club. She wasn't particularly happy about it, but it was the only job she could get at the time.
I visited her in July of 2002, and that visit is described in the story 'Goodbye to Romance'.
I wanted to get her another job, but I was laid off myself at about that time.
Early this year, I decided to visit her again.
That visit is in my journal and the story 'Goodbye to Romance, Part 2'.
To give the shortened version, some of her friends got arrested driving a car that had been reported stolen by one of their friends. Gegit spent all her savings, and even borrowed some money from some unsavory types, and bailed them out. They made her sign for the car, and told her to leave it for the owner.
Now they've skipped bail, the car is reported stolen again, and Gegit has been arrested.
Some friends.
I remember once on the rig, she got stuck in the crew elevator with a load of laundry. She was alone in there for about 20 minutes. As soon as I heard she was trapped, I sprinted over and helped free her. She was very upset, in tears. It tears me apart when I think of how she must feel in her cell, awaiting a trial.
I learned a lot about Gegit while I visited this time. I learned that the parents who have raised her for the last 10 years are not her birth parents; they brought her in off the street at 16. She was rummaging through dumpsters to feed herself and her first daughter.
I spent around an hour with these parents, and they told me of her long string of bad relationships and failed attempts to better herself. There is a common theme of being used by people who claim to be her friends, and I could see that it hurt them as much as it saddened me.
I don't know what to say, I am at a loss for words. I am so afraid that she will be irreparably hurt. I want to help her any way I can, and I want to see her use her potential to the fullest. She could do so much if she were away from the people who hurt her.
I will leave you with some of my journal entries, because I just can't write anymore.
--

I'm really scared for her. :(
She borrowed some money to bail a so-called friend out (the same so-called friend who got her framed for auto theft and then skipped bail). Now the guy she borrowed money from is making it known he wants the money back NOW...and she's still being held in jail.
I'm afraid she'll get out and he'll be waiting.
I'm afraid he'll hurt her.
I wish I could help her straighten out her life, because if she doesn't, I'm afraid she won't make it another year. :(
She's too damn stubborn to ask for help, she's never asked for anything at all, but I know she needs it. I just don't know what to do for her, and I'm really afraid that the only ones left for her are her parents--not her real parents, but the ones that pulled her off the street when she was 16--and me. :(
My friends say she's a lost cause, but I know that's not true. I know I see people differently than other people do, but I like to see the good.
She tries so hard, and I think she could make it if someone supported her...unlike her "friends".
I've seen them wreck everything for her 3 times in the years I've known her...but this time, they've put her in danger of jail or even physical harm.
And I don't know how to prevent it. :(
--

I know I do not see the world as others do. I look at the best that can be in others. I look at the best that can be in everything that is around me.
I know I am not perfect, but I do my best to bring honesty, openness and integrity to everything I do. I also do my best to make things better for everyone I meet and especially for my friends.
I wish I could be like a ghost, slipping unseen into the darkest places that my friends travel, and bringing them light and hope when they need it most. I wish I had the power to throw down the walls that they hide behind and still keep them safe from harm.
I wish that I were my namesake, the Grey Wolf, stealthily running along the paths of life, ready to guide my friends where the trail is hard to read, alert to protect them from those who would ambush them, strong and warm to brace them from the storm.
But I am only a man, and I can only do my best, and I can only cry when I fail.